Blue and red bridges

making me think about you and how you're gone

          I held Joshs hand and raised my arm in the air. I looked out at all of the beautiful faces screaming and smiling and i felt a tear run down my face... Or sweat. I leaned my head on Joshs shoulder and zoned out looking in the crowd. How did we get here in front of all of these amazing people. It was sadly time to walk off stage and i realized as we were walking down the steps behind the black curtain that we were still holding hands. I guess he did too because we looked at each other and laughed while moving our hands to our sides. 

"That was an amazing show" i said while whipping sweat from my face with a towel. 

Josh smiled, "you say that every time". 

I laughed and said "actually yesterday i said it was a wonderful show so..."

"Shut up baby boy" he said running his fingers through his dripping hair. 

"Just speaking the truth dog breath" we both laughed and grabbed waters off one of the tables backstage.

I hugged Jenna and took a drink of my water. 

"Another great show" she said.

"Yea so many great fans here tonight." 

"Its crazy how its almost half over"

"I know, the end comes way too quickly."

"Yea but you sure get the best memories out of it." she said handing me a fresh towel.

"Definitely. Il always remember falling on my face in the hamster ball and hitting a girl in the nose tonight. I feel so bad, i couldn't say anything but the ball got moved so fast that i didn't even see her reaction" i said semi laughing and whipping water from my upper lip. 

The emotional road show tour has gone great so far. We've never had a tour go so smooth and relaxing while at the same time super exciting. I cant wait to see whats to come. That night after the show me and Jenna sat curled up on the tour bus couch in the back room and watched movies. We fell asleep in the middle of the first one. I woke up to the sound of my phone buzzing. It was Mark i sat up. Jenna had also woken up. I rubbed my eyes and answered it.

"Hello?" i said sounding like i just woke up from a hibernation.

"Tyler, thank god you picked up-" i stopped him.

"Mark why are you calling me at 12:30 in the morning while we're on the same tour bus."

"Tyler... Im sorry this is really important and im actually not on the bus" at this point i realized his voice was really shaky and he sounded very alarmed.

"Whats going on?" i tried to keep calm by rubbing my wrist across my knee. 

"Josh... Tyler Josh is gone." i seemed to have no words at first and whipped my mouth with my hand starting to shake. 

"What do you mean gone?"my voice got deep and shaky. I closed my eyes while holding my head up.

"He left i note saying how he left, i cant read it right now, im walking around trying to find him. He left no information as to where he was going i just know that he said he couldn't handle it anymore. I dont know what hes referring to. Ive got to go im going to ask people at the gas station if they've seen him." he hung up and i started crying. Jenna held me from  behind. She heard everything and told me we should go look so we left the bus and started doing exactly that. After hours of searching i turned on my phone and saw 4:05 in teary eyes. Where are you?