Broken...beyond repair

Chapter 4 - Memories

30 minutes later, after Aunt Heather's trademark cheese cake, I was being escorted upstairs by her. I didn't really need escorting because everything was more or less the same. However, Aunt Heather had insisted on making me feel at home. Felix was still downstairs playing on the ps3 with Will. He had said he'd come up later. I knew he was really happy to see Will again. Like me, he had never come back. I don't really know why to be honest.

We were finally at the door of my old room. I have no idea why but I was afraid to go in. Aunt Heather, not really acknowledging my hesitation, went staight in. Not really wanting to look like an idiot I followed. Again, everything looked just the same. I had expected dust covering everything but it seemed as though Aunt Heather had cleaned up. I was grateful for this but as I scanned the room my eyes lingered on something which made me want to really be alone. I could feel Aunt Heather follow my gaze and thankfully she understood. She left making some excuse about fresh bedding but I wasn't listening. 

My eyes hadn't moved from the picture hanging on the wall. I walked towards it slowly and couldn't help the little smile that took over. I looked at each face closely cherishing the memories each brought. On the right were my twin brothers Alfie and Archie. They were 19 and the liveliest people I had ever known. They were identical with ginger hair and green eyes and only us siblings knew the difference between them. Not even my dad could tell sometimes. They loved to joke about and many people actually thought they were younger than me. I smiled as their immature ways came into my mind.

Aaron, however, standing next to them was completely the opposite. He was the eldest and had always been a father to us. He was around 25 and we looked very alike. We both had brown hair with green eyes. A darker shade than Alfie's and Archie's. Aaron was always serious and responsible. Even my dad hadn't been as strict as him I thought as my eyes travelled to the man grinning from behind.

I was clung onto his back laughing at something Alfie had said seconds before the picture had been taken. The day was fresh in my mind as though it was yesterday.  I would give anything to go back to that day. On the left I saw the final member of my dead family.

Alan. He had always been my favourite. I loved him to pieces - not that I loved either of my other brothers less but I always had found that I got on with him the most. He was very quiet but I could always tell him everything with a hundred percent confidence that he wouldn't tell another living soul. He was a spitting image of my dad with neither red or brown hair but instaed a mixture depending on how the light shone on it. His eyes were also brown like my father's and his personality was also similar. I finally looked away realising that my eyes were filled with tears. I never cried before but after they all died my eyes had become bloody waterworks.  I hated it. I felt weak and pathetic. Pull yourself together Alex I scolded myself taking a tour of my walk in closet.

God I had missed this room. Like Felix had said I had loved my clothes and that dated back right from when I was kid.

I also had an en suite which I shared with the room next door. That was Alfie's and Archie's room. Everything was empty though. I would take everything out of the suitcases and put them away later I decided glancing at them wearily. I was too tired now. It was only afternoon but I really needed a nap. On perfect timing Aunt Heather came in with the fresh bedding. We put it on together and I found it was still as easy as ever to talk to Aunt Heather. The fact that nothing had changed made me happy. She left after a while giving me a small hug and minutes later I was passed out exhausted. 

I woke up in the usual way after I had a nightmare. I sighed and got out of the bed. My phone was on the bedside table and I checked it to see the time. It was four meaning I had been asleep for a good few hours. The nightmare I had just had was quite hazy now and I prefered it that way. I walked into the en suite deciding to freshen up a little. I washed my face with cold water- a preference of mine but when I looked in the mirror I got the shock of my life. My hair was bloody multi coloured! Yeah for the last year I had started to get different colours in my hair but not this many. Multi coloured might be a slight exaggeration but there were definitely more colours than usual. But why? My hair was fine this morning. I shook my head walking out. Oh well it seemed like I had nothing left in my life in my control. I walked downstairs not really suprised that the boys were still on the ps3. I saw a few of Felix's games scattered around the floor. He had obviously rifled through the suitcases. I rolled my eyes at the concentrated faces of Jason and Felix who were in a heated match of football. I left the doorway and walked to the kitchen to make myself a coffee. The big kitchen and dining room were downstairs but were only used for occasions.