Songfic Phan Oneshots

Vanilla Twilight- Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie awake and miss you

It was a few days since the crash. Dan was staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, holding back tears. He knew that Phil wouldn't want him to cry. He was wherever people went when they died now, in the stars on hear on earth, Dan didn't know. What he did know however, was that he missed Phil.

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

Dan knew it was going to be another sleepless night. He would need something if he was going to stop thinking about Phil. He was all he think about.

'Cause I'll dose off safe and soundly, but I'll miss you're arms around me

It was hard for Dan. Hard for him to continue existing when Phil wasn't. He missed everything about him. The sad thing was, he never got to tell him how much their relationship really meant to him.

I'd send a postcard to you, dear, 'cause I wish you were here

Dan had been talking to himself late at night, like he was talking to Phil. Words could never be able to explain the hole in Dan's life, he wasn't whole. Life could never go back to the way it was.

I'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you

Another day Dan would have to live without him. Without his boyfriend. Without  his best friend. Without the one man who was both.  The day, he knew was not going to a good one.

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence of dawn symbolized the silence of their flat without the most Amazing person Dan had ever known. It was too quiet without the laughter of their stupid puns or the chatter of filming a video, whether alone or together.

The silence isn't so bad, 'til I look at my hands and feel sad, 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly

The quiet didn't always bother Dan. It gave him time to think. Scratch that, thinking probably wasn't the best idea. It made him breakdown into a ball of emotions. Sometimes you need a good cry, but Dan had let the death of his one true love consume him. He would stare down at his fingers, almost feeling Phil's intertwined in his.

I'll find repose in new ways

Dan let the rest of his day go on without him. It wasn't like he wanted to be alone, he didn't. He just didn't want to be anywhere without him. It still was so surreal that he was gone. Phil was gone, and he wasn't coming back. Not today, not tomorrow, not next year, not ever.

Though I haven't slept in two days

Dan was so tired. The sound of children laughing outside, the sight of the world going on as though nothing happened, it didn't feel right. He wanted to fall asleep, to wake and Phil was there. To forget everything that has just happened.

'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

Seeing all their possessions, all their photographs, all their videos, it brought back so many memories. Memories Dan didn't want to quite yet face. The smile that once lit up Dan's face was gone, and it wasn't coming back until Phil did. Dan knew that, his friends knew that, his subscribers knew that, too. He was his everything in one.

But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night

Another day gone by. Another pointless day. The sun had gone with Phil, but the night wasn't yet there. The snow was falling lightly, and the view was gorgeous on the porch. But not as beautiful as Phil was to Dan. He wished with all his heart that somewhere, wherever he was, Phil was enjoying the view. Enjoying whatever it was he was doing, unlike Dan.

Waist deep in thought because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone

Dan was back in one of his deep thought sessions, back in one of his existential crises that frequented when Dan thought too hard. He let it all fall down on him, though. It made the air a little warmer rendering the warmth of Phil's hands. They weren't warm anymore, like the air. The memories made Dan smile, almost.

As many times as I blink, I'll think of you tonight

Dan was in the bathroom, gulping down sleeping pills. He knew he had no chance of falling asleep. The memories haunted his mind, following him every breath, every step, every blink, every beat of the heart that wanted to stop. Dan sighed. "I'll be with you soon, not soon enough. Not soon enough." He finished the bottle and went to his bedroom.

When violet eyes get brighter, and heavy wings grow lighter

Dan filmed a video, a short video. It ended with "Goodbye, Internet" instead of "Hello." He contemplated pirating for a while. He didn't want anyone to stop him. He didn't want anything unless that thing was Phil. "This is the only way." He thought.

I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

Dan had no clue what would happen when he died. He did know that he sure wouldn't get to heaven. Phil might be there. He was so kind and caring. He was so, well, Amazing. He didn't deserve the fate he was served. He was too Amazing for this world was Dan's conclusion. It was the most logical.

And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you

Dan knew he was being selfish. Well, he wasn't. He wasn't leaving anyone behind, he thought. He wasn't being cruel like when Phil left this world. Dan wanted to forget life. It hadn't treated him very well. That is, until the angel named Phil came into his life. Everything good from the past 25 years was because of Phil. Life felt wrong without him. It wasn't right. If it was wrong to go like this, Dan didn't want to be right. He wanted to be away from the depression. He wanted to be with him. With Phil

Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past, I'd whisper in your ear

He felt himself going. He uploaded the video, as his last will of Earth. He didn't need to be here anymore. He didn't want to. Life wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth hating every second, if that was what life would come to.  Dan drew his last breath. It was bittersweet. The world faded away as Dan closed his eyes. He could finally sleep, it'd just be that this time he wouldn't have to wake up

Oh, darling, I wish you were here

A/N
I've decided to start a phan fiction because happy birthday to Dan.
I'm sorry that was so sad, but that's the vibes I get from the song. Comment any requests for phan fiction and I'll write it. I'll be updating this when I have time and suggestions. Have a good day wherever you are. Thanks for the love- Emma Franc