The War

War

Why did you have to hit me and call me horrible names, why did you have to lie to me and say you loved me when I was just your slave. I can remember all the fun times all the times we made each other laugh, the blushing moments of rolling on the grass, I feel like we could have that again just me and you...but...
*sigh*
Everything seems so peaceful at first you were so kind with your words and you never yelled. But then one day you tried to kiss me and I refuse. I don't know why I shouldn't have, I should have just listened to you and let you take your role but I didn't...so I got what I deserved and I got hit, it wasn't your fault it was mine.

I used to tell everyone I've never had a first kiss unless a truth or dare kiss with a girl counts...they say no...but the boy I'm with now has kissed me....but even tho you kissed me before he did....you will never EVER be my first kiss!....

Do you remember the flower crown? The one with the daisies and the Tulips and the other beautiful flowers that my friend made me. You said I looked adorable, that I was the only girl you could ever look at. I kissed your cheek and response.
*Hehe*
I hope you remember that one of the rare good chances we ever got together.

We were so wild and crazy at first...but...like most wild fires...the get out of control....they destroy the most beautiful, precious, innocent, small flowers... Why was it that you were my wild fire....

Remember when we first met. Oh it was great, I was at the mall and had wandered off by myself. I was trying to get something off a shelf when you came from behind and lifted me up to reach it. I was shocked but grabbed the item. When I turned around I was greeted with a smile and a flower. You said you had seen me around the mall before and today you were gonna ask a girl out but...she rejected you infront of everyone. So you gave me the flower. I giggled. You were just so...different....a wolf in sheep's clothing.... We walked around for a bit. Taking about dreams and fears...you have me your number. I squealed and you patted my head then hugged me bye. Later that might I called you crying because my dad was being an idiot and had disowned me....again.... You comforted me... Over then next few months we talked. Then you asked me out. I was rolling on my bed freaking out. I said yes!....
That memory was and is tainted from what was yet to come...

Why am I saying all this? Because whenever someone ask about why I'm hand shy, or why I have trust issues, it maybe why I'm so odd....I say a fake name I call you by...Derek....the word is now poison....it stings the tongue and burns the skin as it crawls out my mouth only to be evaporated in the air leaving a heavy atmosphere...why'd you do this...why would anyone do this...

Everyday I think of you and what you did to me, I have a constant reminder of whenever I look at my ankle...you sicken me! Why are you still here! Why do you hate me! Why do I think of you and waste my tears on the thought of you! Y-you Bastard! You unbelievable sickening snake!.....but maybe I should be sad at why you left...no! I should be angry at what you did!...no I need to be happy cause I trusted you at first...no he's a jerk I don't like him...yeah he makes me cry...no he makes me mad!...no...no he doesn't....yes he does why am I so stupid!....this inner thought that drives me past insanity. Yes I know I'm crazy, I'm insane for what I write and the truth I spit out but if I don't say it then who will!....

My book will be written and you'll be in it...you'll be a chapter of War and hate....