Knowing You're There; Just for me

Chapter 8- Tic Tock

~Christmas Day~

The door bell rang.

"Honey the Carter's are here, come on in welcome! Joanna how are you? Elton glad your here. and Ashton! sweetie I haven't seen you in forever! how are you doing ? Ashely is up stairs getting dressed go right ahead. Come come everyone settle in." My mother welcomed the new guest into the house for the Christmas party she's throwing.

There was a knock on my bedroom door. I didn't answer yet the person came in.

"Hey Ashely what are you still doing in bed your mom said you would be getting dressed." Ashton said.

"I don't want to talk right now." I said harshly.

"Well nice to see you to sassy Sally." he moved next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"No." I got up looked at him and moved past him to my bathroom to fix up my face.

"Jesus you are so beautiful in the morning have I ever told you that?" he said sarcastically.

My mascara had been running from the crying. My hair is a mess and my eyes are puffy due to no sleep and let me not even talk about my saggy bags under my eyes.

I can't believe this. I'm pregnant. I'm actually pregenant. Dr. Pages called me this morning and confirmed it. They got the lids mixed up. Turns out that the urine sample were switched up by an intern . So I'm pregnant. I have a 1 month infant swimming around in my body.

"Ashely I know you've been crying I can see the tear mark." Ashton said interrupting my thoughts.

I didn't respond just sat on my bed.

"Ashely talk to me please!" Ashton begged.

"There nothing to talk about."

"I know there is you've been acting weird since we got home yesterday you didn't tell me what happens at the doctors office. So What happened? What did doctor pages tell you?"

I don't want to talk. I don't want to think I'm pregnant. How could I be pregnant? This is my senior year. Then I'm going off to college to live my life. This can't happen. Tears started to form in my eyes.

"Ashely don't cry come here." He pulled me into a tight hug.

"Tell me what happened."

"I'm pregnant Ashton. She told me I'm pregnant. I'm carrying a child right now. I dont know how this happened. I don't even want to think about this. I can't be pregnant Ashton. I'm only 18 I'm to young." I started crying.

He rubbed small circles on my back for like 20 minutes not saying anything.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to soak your shirt." I said managing to stop crying.

He just shrug his shoulders.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't raise a child. I have no job. I live with my parents and they are probably going to kick me out. I can't do this alone. I'm so died. I can't tell them. I just cant." I said.

"Am..... Am I... Am I the father...?" He asked.

I wiped the tears from my eyes again.

"Yea... Yes Ashton you are the father. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen and I know you are going to hate me forever. Just please try to forgive me. " I say starting to cry again.

"Hey hey hey I don't hate you. in fact I'm actually relived I would hate it if
anyone else got you pregnant Ashely. Don't worry I'll be with you every step of the way." He turned my head up so I was looking at him.

"I love you Ashely. And I will not leave you no matter what. I support every decision you make or every made. This is just another way to prove that. And what ever you decide to do with the baby Ill be right their to support you ok?" He said.

I nodded my head "I love you to Ashton. Thank you so much." I told him.

He kissed me on the forehead. And told me to get dressed.


-Later that night-

"Thank you all for coming it was very fun, don't forget to grab your gift bags on the way out Happy Holidays everyone." My mom really knows how to throw a party I have to give her that.

I said my good byes to everyone and asked Ashton to stay so we could talk more about the baby.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and changed into my pjs and made my way to were Ashton was sitting.

"So did you think about what you want to do?" He asked me.

"Yea.. trust me in this. it was really hard to admit it to my self but I'm just not old enough and mutate enough to raise a baby. So I'm going to have to go through abortion...." I said.

There was a long silence in the room.

"Alright then... we will go first thing tomorrow morning." he said.

- the next morning at the office-

"Mrs. Palmer ?" The lady opening the door said.

"Um yea that's me." I stood up and told Ashton to wait for me here. He kissed my cheek and pulled me into a tight hug.

The lady lead me into a room and told me the doctor would be with me in 10 minutes.

I took a seat and looked around the room. There was a clock and a picture of a baby on the wall.

I started at the picture of the baby. I wonder if the baby would look like Ashton or me. Or if it's a boy or girl.

Tick

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What am I doing

Tick

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Abortion stops a heart.

Tick

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What if my mom aborted me.

Tick

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I would have never made this mistake.

Tick

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I would if never met Ashton.

I would of never met my parents

I would of never met my friends

My family, My life all gone. By just one decision.

Tick

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Am I about to do this to my baby?
The one that was made by me and Ashton.

"Alright miss Palmer are you ready?"

Tear streamed to my eyes I grabbed my purse and jacket and I ran. I ran from the office and out of the building I heard Ashton call me name and heard him running after me.

I stopped running once I reached the lake and I just let it all come out. I cried and cried.

What was I thinking. I can't kill my own baby. I can't stop a life from happening. Trying to get rid of my mistake by killing him? No. I can't I just can't.

"Ashely?" I heard Ashton yell.

Then he found me by a tree sitting with my head in my knees crying.

He pulled me on top of his lap and rocked me back and forth slowly he was rubbing small circle on my back to try to calm me.

"It's gonna be okay. Dont cry baby. I'm here for you." he said to me.

"I'm sorry I can't go through with it. That's our baby I was going to abort. I can't stop his life like that. He's here for a reason I don't know what it's for yet but I'm sure as hell not going to do that to him. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry." I said and cried.

"It's okay I understand.shhhh don't cry anymore baby I'm here." he said.

Once i calmed down he picked me up and carried me back to the car.

He drove me home an stopped in front of my house.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but you know we have to tell our parents now right?" he said to me.

I nodded my head.

"When are we going to do that?" He asked.

"I guess now as good as ever right? They won't hate me less later." I said

"Hey look at me, they won't hate you and I will be with you anyway." He said squeezing me hand.

Then he kissed me.

He kissed me roughly but soft.
It was sweet and it made all the pain go away. I forgot about everything at the moment and only thought about the kiss. When he pulled back he smiled and kissed my cheeks and then my head.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded.

"Ok then let go." he said.

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A/N
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