Ethical sex sounds complicated and a bit difficult, but if you choose to be sexual, you should aim for ethical sex. It's actually not as complicated as it sounds.
At a recent lecture I attended, "Sexuality in the 21st Century and Beyond: Adolescents' Behavior and Beliefs," the following basics for what ethical or positive sex is were agreed upon: ethical sex is consensual, respectful, and protected.
What do you need in order to have Ethical Sex?
You need to know and be comfortable with your own body. This helps you to determine what you are comfortable consenting to, and gives you an understanding of what you might like from your partner.
You need to be comfortable with your own sexuality and be able to experience sexual pleasure without guilt or shame. If you're ashamed of being sexual, you might not plan ahead for sex or might be less respectful of your partner and her or his sexuality. This works against having both protected and respectful sex.
You need to be assertive about your sexuality. If you aren't able to be assertive about what you would like to do and what you would not like to do, it's harder to have truly consensual sex.
You need to have respect for other's values. Your partner may not share the same values or beliefs about sex as you do, and she or he may be more or less comfortable with different ways of expressing sexuality due to those values. To have respectful sex, you need to respect those values.
You need to understand your own needs and your partner's needs. Understanding your own needs helps you express them to your partner, allowing her or him to be respectful or you, and understanding your partner's needs allows you to respect those needs and thus be respectful of her or him.
Authors:
Julia Ransohoff
Christina Jeffery
Nancy Brown Ph.D. with:
Katie Ransohoff
Joanna Yang
Anna Rafferty
Leigha Winters
Nigel Anderson
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