Dirty Little Secret :ACM:

4.

Bad Reputation, Avril Lavigne "I don't give a damn about my bad reputation"

"Spencer, Honey. There's someone at the door for you!" My mom yells from the bottom of the steps, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, looking at the clock. My heels click on the floor of my hallway as I walk to the steps, the sound echoing off the staircase.

I walk to the front door, my mom turning to look at me. She opens the door wider, and I look at Austin in surprise "You're here early"

"Yeah, s-sorry about th-that. I was just a-around here"

"That's fine" I shrug, grabbing a purse "I'm ready anyways"

"Where are you going?" My mom asks.

"To the library, we have a project to work on" I kiss her cheek, grabbing my keys from the key bowl by the front door. We walk out of my front door, and I lock it behind me "We can take my car if you'd like" I suggest, pointing to my car.

"W-wow" He mumbles.

"I'll take that as an okay" I laugh, unlocking my car and climbing into my drivers seat.

"A mer-Mercedes?" He asks, getting into the passenger seat.

"Yes it is" I nod "My dad got it for me for my 16th birthday. I'd always had a thing for Mercedes" I turn on my car, backing out of my driveway and driving to the library. When we get there I park and we walk inside, Austin holding the door open for me. We grab one of the study rooms in the back and Austin unpacks his bag, packets of work being spread across the desk.

"So, w-what do you want to start with? We can d-do the current stuff like vectors or we can do o-older stuff like finding theta given sine, cosine, or tangent" He rummages through the packets.

"Whichever one is better" I shrug.

"C-current stuff is b-better" He chooses a packet, putting the others away.

"Why do you stutter?" I ask, resting my chin on my hand.

"W-what?"

"You heard me"

"You m-make me n-nervous" He shrugs, and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, sitting up straight.

"Why?"

"B-because of who you a-are" He answers, and I frown.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, my tone harsher than I had expected "I'm not a bad person. Those rumors that I am aren't true. I just don't care enough about having a bad reputation to worry about it" He gives me a shrug as a response and I huff "Whatever let's just get this over with then" I cross my arms over my chest, leaning back in my chair.

"Al-alright" He nods, grabbing a dry erase marker, writing coordinates on the board. He teaches me about vectors though I only half listen, still broken up about him saying I make him nervous because of who I am. Now, I honestly don't care about people thinking I'm a bad person, if it's just random people I don't know. But when it's someone I have to have one on one interaction with, the whole situation changes.

"A-are you listening?" Austin breaks me out of my thoughts.

"No" I shake my head.

"W-well, I guess we can j-just wrap this up then" He packs up his stuff, and I stand up walking out of the room and to my car getting inside, waiting for him. He gets into the passenger seat and I drive back to my house, parking and getting out.

"I'm s-sorry" Austin apologizes.

"Don't be, I understand the desire to hop on the bandwagon when everyone else hates me" I shrug "But just know, nobody knows shit about me, they don't know the shit I've been through. Remember that" I walk up to my house, unlocking the door and walk inside, slamming the door shut behind me.

"What's wrong Honey?" My mom asks, but I only frown, wrapping my arms around her shoulders "Aw, my Baby" She kisses my forehead.

"Am I a bad person?" I ask, my mom scoffing.

"Of course not! Why would you ask that?"

"I don't know" I shrug "Just wondering"

"You're an amazing person, and I don't want you to ever think you're not" She kisses my forehead.

"That's funny. I've never seemed to be someone who's good enough" I tut.

"You've always been good enough for your father and I. I want you to know that, I love you so much Corey"

"If I was good enough, then why didn't- nevermind" I storm up to my room, slamming the door shut behind me. I fall down onto my giant bed, sighing loudly, curling around my body pillow.

My phone buzzes and I pick it up Austin's contact on the screen. I roll my eyes and open his text message.

From: Austin
I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

To: Austin
It's whatever. Just struck an old nerve I forgot I had.

From: Austin
I'm still sorry.

To: Austin
Don't sweat it. I'll get over myself