Yes

Chapter 1

Two months after being defrosted, Bucky still wasn't sure it was such a great idea. T'Challa and his team in Wakanda had developed technology in the time he was frozen that fixed his brain, freeing him from any form of control Hydra had implanted, but unfortunately he was still left with the memories of all the things he did while working as the world's greatest assassin, often waking from nightmares as a result.

Steve was always there, every night he woke screaming. It was no different from the way Bucky woke Steve when he was sick and whimpering in his sleep from dreams caused by the fever. Eventually it got to the point where Steve fell asleep in his own bed and woke on a pallet of blankets on the floor beside Bucky's- every night like clockwork. It was rare for it to be considered a "good" night, where Bucky only needed waking once. Most of the time, Steve had to coax him out of the nightmares multiple times, and both woke with bloodshot eyes complemented by dark circles beneath them. Bucky often protested Steve's method of sleeping in the same room: "Honestly, Steve, it's okay. The dreams aren't even that bad." He lied, blatantly obvious to the blond.

"So that's why I have to wake you up in the middle of the night to keep you from hurting yourself?" Steve replied, though it came out more bitter than he'd intended. "Shit, Buck, I didn't-"

"No, you're right. My brain's fucked up, Steve. Every night I wake you up, I steal your sleep from you. I told you freezing me was the right thing to do. All I do is cause pain." Bucky said, his expression hard and voice rough.

"Bucky-" Steve tried, though the brunet was already making his way for the door. "Buck-"

It was too late; Bucky had already left. He needed some time to think, to get away.

Climbing up a fire escape with only one arm would seem to be difficult, but for a supersoldier who spent the first parts of his "conditioning" functioning with only one arm (he learned quickly- if he failed to complete the task assigned he would be punished), it was easy.

He sat on top of the building, letting the cold February air whip through his long hair and thin jacket, the empty sleeve waving in the wind. He was certain Steve knew where he went, considering it's where he went every time he needed to cool off, but the stupid blond was smart enough to know not to disturb him. After the first incident where he tried to come up and almost got a knife through the eyeball, he left it alone.

Bucky didn't want this. He was almost hoping that once he'd been frozen, something would go wrong and he just wouldn't wake up. What felt like seconds to him was nine months in reality. Stark had gotten over the grudge he'd held against Barnes and had even started developing a new arm as a sort of apology for melting it off in the first place. Bucky still felt the blinding pain of the synthetic nerves burning, what was left of his flesh and blood arm being vaporized with the metal. It was nothing different from what he'd felt during his stay with Hydra, but still left him grimacing and groping for the empty space where the arm used to be. Tony had called him just three days ago, telling him it was almost ready and that a surgeon by the name of Helen Cho was to accompany Stark and Banner in the surgery two days from the present.

Bucky waited until the cold numbed his face and he could hardly feel his fingers clenched around the metal pole of the ladder. Without realizing it, he bent the metal, crushing it like it was nothing.

I can't even control my own strength. Maybe it's best I don't have the other one anymore. He thought bitterly.

After sneaking back in, Steve having "gone to bed" (Bucky could hear his uneven breathing, hitched by muffled sobs), he made himself a hot cup of tea to help warm himself from the inside, yet it wasn't for him. Bucky had made Steve's favorite tea and carried it carefully to the blond's bedroom, trying to figure out on his way there how he was going to open the door when his only hand was occupied. It was unnecessarily complicated and difficult, but Bucky managed without spilling the tea.