A/N: So I heard the song “Don’t Let Me Go” by Harry Styles and Sam McCarthy…and in the midst of my crying I thought to myself “I should totally kill my Larry Shipper followers with a fic based on this…so here you are. Be prepared to cry tears of blood.
(This is in a different story on here too.)
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Harry looked down one last time at the note sheet in his hand. His sloppy handwriting was there, slightly tear stained, but he’d done it. He’d written everything he’d ever wanted to say onto this paper. It didn’t make him feel any better about their meaning. But finally he could give Louis his heart in a way that wouldn’t leave his heart skipping a beat from the overwhelming love he felt for his best friend.
But Louis was more than that. He wasn’t just a best friend anymore. He was a heartbeat, a lifeline, a candle in the dark hell of a world Harry was trapped in. Sure, Harry had fallen in and out of love more than once. But this was different. It wasn’t love he felt with Louis. It was an overwhelming need for him. Louis had fallen into his life during a budding time of his life and replaced everything Harry thought love was. It wasn’t pain, or half-hearted hugs. It was Louis.
It was perfect. Every touch, every well-hidden (or so he thought) whisper. Until they’d decided to come out. Modest shot down their plead to show the world just how much they cared about each other. The happy hugs and sweet-nothings were washed away by one word. “No”.
Since then they’d been a mess of tears and whimpers. Stopping themselves from touching in public, refraining from interacting in concerts. Louis managed it well; faking smiles and running around with Niall and Zayn. Harry couldn’t manage. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to. He wanted to go out and be able to pretend to his fans that he was happy. He wanted to cast a cheeky smile and wave on the Larry questions. But he couldn’t. Whenever he tried it was as if a weight was pressing on his chest. Holding him in place and stealing every single breath. It was desperation at its finest.
Harry had to end this. He had to tell Louis how lost he was with hiding their relationship. He was tired of the raging emotions. Helplessness, panic, insecurity. He was nothing without Louis….and he had to let him no.
And he owed it all to Sam.
“Hey, thanks again, mate” Harry smiled as the recording light went off.
“No problem, Haz. I’d love to see the look on the lucky girl’s face when you hand that over” Sam smiled.
Harry nodded and walked out of the studio. If only he knew.
He took the cab back to the shared flat. The disk in his pocket weighed him down as he quickly unlocked the door and slipped into to entrance hallway.
“Took you long enough” Harry grinned at the door as he heard Louis from behind him. He wiped the look off his face and turned to face Louis. He was standing with his arms crossed and all his weight on one hip. Behind the glittering blue eyes Harry could see the sadness that had weighed down his smile since the news from Modest.
“Recording” Harry shrugged off his coat and hung it on the hanger.
“I thought you were done with the recording due” Harry could hear the slight tinge of fear in Louis’s voice.
“It was something else. Something I need to show you” Harry removed the disk and folded lyric sheet from his pocket. “I need you to listen to it. “
“Why?” Louis reached out and took the disk. He flipped it to look at the sharpie writing across the case. “Don’t let me go?”
“Come on” Harry grabbed Louis’s hand and pulled him into the sitting room. “Put it in”
Louis popped open the case and slid the disk into the stereo system. He pressed play. “One Track?”
“Shh, just listen” Harry sat on the couch facing the stereo. He pulled Louis back to sit next to him.
Now you are standing there right in front of me. I hold on, it’s getting harder to breath. All of a sudden these lights are blinding, I never noticed how bright they would be. I saw in the corner there’s a photograph. No doubt in my mind it’s a picture of you. It lies there in its bed of broken glass. This bed was never made for two. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. I’ll keep my arms wide open.
Harry was alarmed as Louis lunged forward to hit pause. “Harry are you leaving the band? I know what management said was hard but we can get through this…one more year Harry”
“I’m not leaving Louis” Harry assured him. “I wrote it for you.”
“For….for me? Harry….” Louis’s eyes softened.
“Shh…listen to the rest of it, Boo” Harry kissed his cheek and pressed play.
Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go. Cuz I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go. Cuz I’m tired of feeling alone. I promised one day I’d bring you back a star. I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand. Oh Seems like these days I watch you from afar. Just trying to make you understand. I’ll keep my eyes wide open. yeah. Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go. Cuz I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go. cause I’m tired of feeling alone. Don’t let me. Don’t let me. Don’t let me go. Cuz I’m tired of sleeping alone.
Harry glanced over; expecting a smile. Instead he found tears falling freely down Louis’s sharp cheekbones.
“Lou, don’t cry. I shouldn’t have showed..” Louis cut Harry off by pressing their lips together.
“I love you so much, Harry.” Louis sobbed as he gathered Harry in his arms.
“I love you too, Lou” Harry laid his head against Louis’s shoulder. “I miss you so much”
“I miss being able to touch you, and hold you, and take care of you in public.” Louis cried. “I hate hiding.”
“A few more months, Lou.” Harry kissed Louis sweetly. “That’s all we need.”
“Harry?” Louis hiccuped.
“Yeah, Lou” Harry’s emerald eyes met the cerulean blue ones in front of him.
“I’ll never let you go” Louis crushed their lips together, allowing their tears to run together.
