Elsa
She breathed out softly, her eyes falling shut and her heartbeat falling.
It was in these kinds of moments that she felt the greatest serenity and fear.
She'd been outside with Ana and Kristoff, enjoying a fall afternoon and a snowball fight that did quite a bit to raise her spirits. She'd only just come inside due to feeling numb, and not because of the cold.
Lately she'd been feeling less, the little sparks of people in her life fading to background noise, leaving her center stage in what felt like a funeral parlor.
She felt a little anticlimactic.
Some people spent all their lives trying to reach this point, this point of safety and calm after a long life of hardship. She supposed she should be thankful for this feeling, for this chance to catch her breath and settle down, but she itched to be doing something.
She felt numb like her grasp on life was fading away, like if she didn't do something she'd be left as nothing. It was as though each second was marked, and she had to be doing something all the time.
She'd become fond of multitasking, of numerous tasks pulling her in so many different directions that occasionally she managed to loose grasp on reality and actually enjoy it.
Sometimes she felt more dead than alive, like the air in her lungs and throat were the spaces between the stars and loud sounds were silence and that even the sharpest pains weren't real. She used to joke with Ana about her inability to feel cold, but lately it just stood as another reason that she wasn't feeling everything and wasn't actually living.
Her footsteps were loud to her ears as she walked farther along the docks, her eyes catching on the setting sun and the glistening stars above.
If she closed her eyes in this moment everything felt still and dark and infinite. Like everything would last forever if for not that nothing had ever begun.
She opened her eyes and allowed it all to come back to her, the feelings in her heart that ached like something artificial and the wind across her face that was sharply synthetic.
***
Last Edited: 2.26.17
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Frozen Apart // Frozen/RotG // Jelsa
FanficEDITING AND REWRITING: BEWARE She will meet him in the winter. They will meet like two swirling snowflakes, drifting, lost on the wind. They will meet, and they will fall together. Together, they'll feel more like themselves than they ever were alon...
