Butterfly {h.s} #Wattys2016

0.7

It's been two weeks now, trapped here. I haven't left my room or spoken a word since the day I tried to escape. You would come in everyday and greet me, asking if I needed anything. My silence always made you nod and slowly close my door.

I sat up in bed and stared out the window. I watched as the waves crashed onto the shore and the seagulls fly straight into the horizon. This distracted me for awhile until my conscious turned on. No longer telling me positive things. No longer encouraging me, but bringing me down.

There is no other way.

You're never gonna escape him.

Ever.

I slowly nodded my head and got up. It was like I wasn't really there. It was like I was possessed. I just opened my door and made my way towards the bathroom.

"Willow?"

I stopped in front of the bathroom to see you making your way up the stairs. Your eyes were glued to mine as you walked up to me. You had a small, but bright smile plastered on your face.

"Glad you finally got up. It's not healthy for you to be in bed all day, not eating." You said putting your hands in the pockets of your shorts.

I nodded my head, not really hearing anything you said. You looked to my hand on the bathroom door and asked what I was doing.

"S-shower." I managed to say in a raspy whisper.

"Okay, everything you need should be in there. I'll be downstairs so, yell if you need anything." You said going into the closet behind you and grabbing me a towel.

I nodded my head and took the towel. I opened the bathroom door and closed it behind me, leaving you in the hallway. I heard you sigh and your footsteps getting distant. I quickly turned on the shower and waited for the water to heat up. When steam started to fog the windows and mirror, I stripped out my clothes and got in. You had green apple shampoo and conditioner and a Dove bar of soap. I looked for the thing I needed most. I dropped my head and bit my lip trying to hold back the tears. You had taken all the razors out of my bathroom. Of course you did. I washed my hair and tried to think of another plan. My concise gladly joined in.

He has a cabinet in here.

Look for pills.

I rinsed my hair and started to rub the soap bar up and down my body, nervously. I was starting to have second thoughts. It's one thing to commit suicide slowly by a razor, but it's another to take pills and die quickly. This was honestly one of the easier options, but my mind thought this was the hardest option.

Don't you dare chicken out now!

Do it!

My conscious was screaming at me to do it. I covered my ears and started to tear up. I wanted the screaming voice in my head to stop. I didn't want to die.

Do it and this will all be over.

I nodded and pulled open the curtain, leaving the water running. I didn't want you to know I was doing this. As long as the water was still running, you wouldn't suspect a thing. I didn't even grab for my towel. I just walked over to the cabinet mirror. I looked at my reflection and I didn't like what I saw. My collarbones stuck out and my stomach was much smaller than before. I wasn't skinny at all before I came here, nor was I fat. I was pretty normal sized with a bit of fat lining the stomach, but now it was almost all gone.

You're getting distracted.

Once you take those pills you won't ever have to see him again.

I liked the sound of that. I opened the mirror and my eyes darted right to the bottle of aspirin. I grabbed the bottle and popped open the lid, taking a few moments to stare at it. This was actually happening. I was actually gonna do this. Did I really want to though? No. The answer was no.

Yes, you do.

I gave in pathetically. I slowly spill the pills into my hand. About 10 are placed in my hand, the rest spilling onto the floor. My breathing was starting to quicken. I didn't want to do this.

Do it!

You're not escaping him! You already tried!

This is your last chance.

I stare at the pills and I see drops of water spill onto them. I soon realize that my cheeks were wet with my tears. They dropped one by one onto my hand filled with pills, they were starting to dissolve. As I raised them to my mouth I hear the bathroom door open behind me. My eyes slowly raise up to the mirror in front of me and I see you standing there, eyes wide open. The spell had been broken, by you. I drop all the pills onto the ground and I slump down next to them, sobbing.

You faliure!

At this moment I didn't care that I was naked on the ground in front of you. I didn't even care that you were just staring at me. I was just so angry at myself that nothing else around me mattered.

"I can't believe..." You say in almost a whisper.

I sniffled and slowly looked up at you. You were still in the doorway, eyebrows furrowed and your eyes not meeting mine. You kept them down at the floor and your knuckles clenched. I could see your eyes were a bit watery and I wondered if it was just the heat of the water. Last time you caught me doing something bad, you were mad at me. Now, it looked as if you were mad at yourself.

"Why would you ever try to hurt yourself? You can't escape this place, it wasn't just luck that I came in here when I did!" You yelled finally meeting my eyes.

I didn't understand what you meant. The whole thing about "it wasn't just luck that I came in here when I did".

"Do you hate it here that much?" You asked, brushing your curls out of your face.

I nodded slowly, covering myself up from you. You looked me up and down and a shiver ran through me, leaving my skin covered in goose bumps. You bent down with the crack of your knees and grabbed my towel and wrapped it around me. Your fingers brushed against my skin and my breath hitched silently, but you felt my body jerk and you looked at me. I finally kept your stare. I finally did what I wanted and searched deep into your green eyes.

"Is it the place or me?" You asked, your face so close to mine that your lips almost brushed my cheek.

I looked down and tried not to focus on your eyes staring at me or how much space has decreased between us. I just let out shallow breaths and kept my head down. You reached out a hand and tucked some wet strands off my face and tucked them behind my ear. I looked up and your features were incredibly beautiful to me.

"I love you, and I will do anything to make you happy." You whispered leaning down and planting a warm kiss onto my forehead.