Twenty-Nine // J.G.

twenty-eight.

Dear Jack,

This is not an apology.

Maybe that's what you want, and maybe that would fix the unbearable rift that I had caused for us, but it is not why I am writing to you alone in my hotel room at ten in the evening while you're gone doing God knows what. I'm not sorry. From the first day we met here, you have allowed me to be my complete and utter self, and even though you have showed me so many new ways to live, I cannot stray from the person I am. So no, I'm not sorry for leaving you without an answer. I am, however, sorry for leading you to believe that going on tour with you was not something I wanted to do, and you have to forgive me for masking the proper emotion I failed to display. To relieve your curiosity, yes I did I want to go with you. I would go to the ends of the earth with you. But the "old Marley," if you will, had too many things to think about before she could make that abrupt decision. I felt so many emotions at once that it was hard to utter even a word to you, and before I could attempt to construct a feasible response, you were gone.

That's not what I want to write about though. I have been thinking nonstop about us and what's going to happen and what did happen. And I think it's time I be honest, with you and with myself. Jack, I'm in love with you. I'm probably just as surprised as you are. I mean, how could I have gone from hating your cocky guts to wanting nothing but to be with you? I never expected to feel the way that I do, but I also didn't have a clue about what I was getting myself into when we made that stupid bet. Do you remember the day we kissed? I hope you don't, but I would be foolish to believe my embarrassing reaction isn't engraved into memory. Anyway, that was the day I realized I had a crush on you. Before I even had the pleasure of finally learning what it felt like to have your lips on mine, I knew that there was no way to avoid the undeniable feelings I had for you. And although I have been fond of independence for all these years... The sound of "us" opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities. So this is me, indirectly but utterly and sincerely declaring my love for you.

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences. I mean, we both went to the same high school and had mutual best friends who just so happened to bring us together. I'm not sure if I believe in fate, but there has to be some supernatural force that orchestrated this. Whatever it may be, this is real, and I can't take it all back. Please tell me it's not too late to make things right.

With love,

the ever-so-apprehensive Marley

Day 30, 1:45 A.M.

Emptiness. That's all I felt as I spun on my heel and floated back out of the room, closing the door behind me though I doubt they would have even noticed if I hadn't. I didn't shed a tear, nor did I strain my voice with pointless yelling. Maybe it was because it hadn't really set in, or maybe I just felt too numb to channel any sort of emotion. For almost two hours after I had locked myself within the confinement of my room once again, I sat in the middle of my bed. Motionless. Thoughtless. I didn't know what to think. I spent the whole day wondering what he was doing and what I would do that I possibly just out-thought my brain.

And then I heard them again.

"Are you sure I can't stay a little longer, baby?" Her cool, sultry voice trailed through the crack of my door first. I tried to will myself to block out any more audible sounds, but no matter how hard I tried, their voices just seemed to grow louder.

"I wish you could, princess," He answered in a hushed voice, "but my roommates will probably be back soon. Maybe I'll come visit you later tomorrow."