twitter | l.r.h (by: sophie)

three

1:27 pm

milaaa: lucas
milaaa: i got tickets to 5sos omg

lucaslol: cool
lucaslol: shouldn't you be really excited or something?
lucaslol: plus please stop texting me, i'm busy

read at 1:32 pm

• Mila •

Was I annoying him? Is he really busy? Does he hate me?

Multiple thoughts rushed around my head as I began to panic. I always was annoying, or I was too quiet. In school, I didn't have friends, they either thought I was too loud or too quiet. Well, what did they want?

Lucas was one of the only people I thought I could talk to... but I was clearly wrong. He has better things to do in life, right? Or is he trying to upset me? Like the rest of this world.

Sometimes, I just think I was put on Earth to suffer - to suffer the pain of being lonely, and unwanted. The world was cruel enough to take my mother, and leave me with my alcoholic dad.

I hate this world, it's so cruel. I just want to leave, but the only way out is death.

I thought about ending my life many times. I had many scars from where my father has beaten me, but now I have more - more scars, that weren't my fathers fault. In fact, they were my own fault.

I  was bullied in my school, many times. That brought along the depression and anxiety. I didn't really know what to do. I still don't know what to do, I mean, I'm only 19 after all.

I rest my head on my pillow every night, falling into a deep slumber. Although, this night I hope I don't wake up.