When All Seems Lost

How to make me angry Lecture #1

I just want to remind everyone that do not own the Walking Dead characters. I do not own any of the settings I use that are the same as the Walking dead show. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoy.

The next couple of days were uneventful. There was really nothing for me to do. Rick, Michonne, Glenn, and Maggie were having a meeting on what to do about our situation. I stayed out of it completely. They had tried to reach out to me but I wanted no part of it. Killing those people would make me just like the people hunting me down. I shook my head at the thought.

Carl and I still weren't really talking. He had hurt me by his words and I wasn't going to let it go. He was the last person I thought believed that I was a monster. Even if I believed it, I didn't want him too. Just thinking about it hurts me in the chest. I close my else and wish the pain away. When I open them again, I forget about it.

I am currently walking the outer gate now, killing the walkers that surround us. My joy in sending them to peace is no longer there. I just haven't been me in a while. I wish I could say that it's Carl that is making me feel this way but I don't think so. I fear my past is coming like a storm. There is probably no where I could run from them. I feel like their watching me and waiting for the right time to show themselves. I am ready for them. The things I will have to do to them is something I think about daily. I don't want to hurt them but their coming for me, because I did something very bad. An unforgivable evil that I will pay for. But they shouldn't play me a fool, I am no one they should rival with. I will bring them to their knees to protect myself. I will stand my ground and not let them take me.

I let out a breath as I killed the last walker in sight. I was glad to be done truthfully. Like I said, I haven't been myself. I go back towards the gate to find several cars coming out. I quickly jog to find out what's going on.

Rick is in the first car with the window down. "Rick? What's going on?" I ask him quickly.

He turns to me and says, "We are striking them before they come for us. We will take over their camp and if anybody wants to join us they can but if they don't, they have to leave."

"But if you send those people away, they'll die." I replied.

He shook his head and said, "But they had a choice to stay. Now get in, you coming with us."

I look down at my jacket in the front seat. I shook my head and said, "I'm only coming to watch and be back up if you really need it. And only if you need me that you fire two shots in the air back to back, that I will come." He took a second to think about it before he nodded. I then got in the car and let him drive away. I pulled my jacket on and sat back as the tress passed by.

When we got about a mile from their place we parked and got out. There was about three cars total for all of us. We all got out and started walking. Daryl caught up with me and gave me a small smile. I gave his shoulder a little push and then we started play fighting. We laughed when Rick had to yell at us. We stopped smiling when we reached their camp. My hands clenched into fists quickly as I looked to the ground. I wish to the Gods that they give up quickly and not a lot of people die from this act of power.

Up close the walls are large and standing tall. I see several people on guard, but they don't see us. I turn to Rick and watch him. He stares at the building with a lot of frustration. I hope he is making the right decisions. After a few more moments he begins walking with his hands in the air. What is he doing? I follow because I'm curious to see how this will play out. I raise my hands in the air as well and soon people follow along.

We get the gate when the guards yell out at us. "Put your weapons on the ground!" One said. Rick glanced around and gently took his weapons and set them on the ground. I followed suit. Once all the weapons were on the ground, the doors opened up and a man stepped forward. You could easily tell that he ran the place. His arrogance filled the air with a horrible stench. I slowly took steps to stand in the middle to not draw attention to myself.