The Definition of Me

Chapter 5: Sleepless in New York.

"Mom." I hardly pronounced the word between my lips, standing still as if my body was paralysed. And just when I started to feel as though my routines became non-existence, as though I for once could sleep at night,  everything turned back to the way it was when I saw her. I couldn't look her in the eyes; I was overwhelmed with thoughts and emotions that I could not explain. But in the midst of my chaos, I regretfully glanced at Gemma and asked her, hoping to get no as an answer:

"So you already know?"

"I know." She nodded. 

"Listen, Rosemary. I have to tell you something." My mom turned my attention from Gemma to her and pointed at the couch as if gesturing for me to sit down next to her. She then looked over at Gemma, as if waiting for her approval on something.

 "You tell." Gemma deeply sighed. 

"I am going to stay at Gemma's place for a while." My mom explained and tried to take hold of my cold hands, but I resisted. 

"W-What..." my eyes widened at her in revelation. "Why?" 

"Well." She cleared her throat and sighed. I could tell she was looking for the right words to say to me. "Mom." I said to her quite cold-heartedly as if making it clear she should just tell me straight forwardly what she wants to say.

"Things got a bit too... difficult... I guess is the right word for it, with your dad and I. And..." she explained and I soon realised what she meant.

"You're divorcing?" I interrupted in consternation, moving further away from her on the couch.

My mom shock her head in approval "We are trying to work it out, Rosemary. But our house is mess, your dad is not doing too good and I needed to temporarily stay somewhere. I spoke to Gemma, we talked things out and..." she tried to explain to me. 

The word 'Divorce'  repeated in my head. The possible outcomes for these news were numerous, and as for me, I was terrified about the consequences of my parents split, one of them being my mother's move. Suddenly I felt my lungs run out of air. 

"I need to go." I said, taking my coat and rushing out the door.

"Where are you going?" Gemma asked anxiously, 

"No, please Rosemary..." my mom begged me, but I slammed the door before I could hear her finish her sentence. 

I dashed down the hallway, and as I was looking back to see if they were following me, I bumped into someone. 

"Oh my god, I am very sorry.." I said in an apologetic voice. As soon as I turned my head, familiar hazel eyes were staring at me. 

"Liam." I pronounced, trying to catch my breath in panic. 

"Rosemary." He looked  disorientated. "What happened, back at the game? Are you alright?"

"I am sorry. I need to.. I need to go." I repeated, trying to escape the conversation and leave. 

"Where are you going? What is wrong?" He kept asking question, taking me by my wrist as I was trying to make my way down the stairs. 

"Please, let me just go." I tried to shake my hand so he would loosen his grip.

"Not until you explain to me what is going on!" He tried to force me. 

"Liam!" I shouted at him, pushing him away and making him almost trip down the stairs and before he knew it, I was already out the door and took the first bus from Brooklyn to Manhattan. 

***

The phone kept buzzing on the table and every time I checked who was calling, it was either Gemma or my mom, and I would always decline the call. I didn't want them to know where I was - Cafe Rue 57, sitting on the same couch at the far right corner where me and Evangeline would spend hours chattering. I would always order white hot chocolate or black tea with milk, but this time I was drinking latte. I don't usually consume caffeine, but at the occurrences of migraines and severe headaches, it was the only thing that helped me.