i'm sorry

one: 505

i sat there for three hours. i was completely sober, and everyone around me was not. i waited three long hours for him to come out and tell me that we were leaving. he had been in that room with people for three hours. i knew what he was doing, and he thought i didn't. he promised he wasn't going to do it anymore. After multiple of arguments, he had promised me that he wanted to change and better his life. Just as every promised turned into a lie, I knew this time was most likely the same. It was the same circle with him.

"molly, what a surprise to see you here..." an extremely wasted michael sat next me with a beer bottle in his hand. i looked away from him and at the door that Benjamin appeared to be in. i tried ignoring Michael as best I could.

I wouldn't consider Michael as a friend but neither would I consider him as a stranger or an enemy. He was just Michael and seemed to always talk before he thought of what to say. He hung out with our group of friends. I mean he was interesting but easily annoying. Benjamin couldn't stand him at all.

"awe, molls talk to me. wanna make out?" he asked putting his beer bottle down. he put an arm around my shoulder, and i removed it immediately. I could barely stand him sober; having him beside me, wasted, irritated the shit out of me. He had no censor over his behavior.

"leave me alone, yeah?" i said angrily. Waiting for Benjamin this long began to upset me. I wanted to leave before Michael had to witness a side of me he probably wouldn't like. not once had benjamin checked to see if i was okay. of course, i forgot he's self-centered. what a cousin he is...

"who are you here with, mollys?" he asked me.

"you don't need to know, michael... listen, why don't you go continue poisoning your body with every other person here and leave me the fuck alone." i said getting up and quickly walking to the room my cousin was in. I was sick and tired of having to expose myself to this sickening environment. I really just wanted to go home.

i opened the door quickly, and i found him slouched on the side of a bed with at least seven other people around. not one of them noticed my entrance. i rushed to benjamin. he looked up at me as I began lifting his weak body up. his eyes heavy, and his under eye circles dark.

"we're leaving right now, benjamin!" i said holding his arm helping him up. he chuckled to himself trying to keep up with me. i dragged him out of the room heading out of this house. michael was still sitting on the couch i had been sitting on. he looked at me and smiled. I groaned and just focused on getting us out and home. It was really late in the evening, early in the morning.

benjamin and i were finally out of the house. i angrily walked him to my car and helped him sit down. i was really upset and disappointed with him. i started my car and drove home. I had no idea what he may have consumed, and it meant that it was going to be another night of supervising him. I couldn't imagine having something happen to him, not now...

"i'm sorry, molly... are you mad?" benjamin spoke ten minutes in our way back home. his voice was low, and i acted as if i had not heard him. He was practically my little brother (by a few months), we grew up together. He knew some of the right things to say and how to say them just to pull at my heartstrings.

"molly... i said i was sorry. i just got carried away." he said. Just as I was easing up, he had to basically admit that he knew of his use and lack of control.

"benjamin, not right now okay?" i said. My vision became blurry as I drove, but I tried pushing aside the pain of seeing Benjamin fall apart. he cleared his throat and shifted his body towards the door.

five minutes later, we finally arrived home. benjamin lived with me at the moment since he began to go to school with me. It was just me, my dad, and Benjamin.