Unforgiven Mistakes

Flash Back

"I hate you." Those are the words that can change a person. How they are said, why they are said, and who says them can all play a part in why a person would change themselves. I was one of those people. My ex was the person who changed me. I never thought our relationship would end the way it did. He was your normal teenage boy and I was the naive girl. I thought we were going to be together forever. Forever can change too.

"Harry what are you doing??" I asked as he opened my room window.

"I had to see you Chastity. I know our parents said to not talk but I miss you like crazy." He said as he slid through careful not to make noise.

"Harry, I don't want you to get into trouble." I said sitting up in my bed.

"I know, neither do I. but seeing you is worth it all." It's true we haven't seen each other in days, weeks actually. I missed him so much. I motioned for him to come and sit next to me. He did just that.

"So what are we going to do??" I asked this question with double meaning. I wanted to know what we were going to do now, in this very moment, and about our parents.

"We have to see each other. I won't allow any different. I want to be with you for a long time." He said lifting my sulking chin.

"We at least have to expect the worse." I whispered into his neck.

"I won't expect anything but for us to be together, like we have always planned." He said pulling me on top of him. I flicked my eyes to his lips then back into his eyes. Our parents knew we were toxic for each other that's why they didn't want us to be together. In a way it's not even our fault or problem; our parents hate each other as well. Modern Romeo and Juliet kind of, but Romeo and Juliet actually enjoyed the time they had together. Ours was spent fighting, making each other jealous, and kissing like my parents didn't want. Nonetheless we thought forever was ours to hold onto. I waited for him to kiss me but he didn't so instead I spoke.

"What if we can't be. I know this is only going to get harder for us." I said being reasonable, something Harry didn't know one thing about.

"What do you mean?? Are you saying that we shouldn't see each other??" He asked looking at me appalled.

"Well... our parents aren't going to allow it and if we get caught we just get into trouble. Maybe its for the best." I shrugged.

"No, us together is for the best. You are mine and I don't want anyone else to have you." See there is reasonable Harry.

"Harry I think you should go." I said knowing where this was going. I knew how he was going to act.

"I'm not leaving unless I know you won't forget about me. I don't want you to think this is for the best. I want you to understand that we are going to be together, even if I'm far away." He said letting go of me.

"Keep your voice down." I hushed him. "Harry I can't be with someone who is leaving far away because they are not allowed to see me. I want you to know there are other options here." Me being reasonable.

"Chastity it's not happening. You are my only option." Harry being unreasonable.

"I'm not though. You are a nice guy most of the time and I know you will have everything going for you in your future, so go." I said pointing to the window.

"Fine if this is what you really want." He said getting up out of the bed.

"It is. I know you will want it to when you meet someone else."

"I don't want someone else chastity, you are my first and only love! I know you are the one." He said throwing his hands up in the air. I hugged him and felt tears starting to form.

"Harry I love you too, but it's not working and it never will. I'm sorry." He was raising his voice and I had raised mine so we were bound to get caught soon.

"Fine I'll go, but promise me you won't stop loving me." He looked at me sternly. I had to make this promise, I had to.

"Harry, I can't." I said looking down.

"Why not??" He asked getting angrier.

"Because I don't want to break it." I said holding in the tears and looking at him sternly enough to get my point across.

"Chastity I know you won't. I know I won't, so please." He begged.

"Harry I can't." I said letting go of his torso and turning around.

"But Chas." He said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Harry leave now." I put breathy spaces in-between ever word.

"I hate you." He muttered.

"What did you say." I asked spinning on my heel fast.

"I hate you." He repeated again.

"Harry, I didn't do anything wrong so stop acting like a child." I said harsh.

"I hate you, you are nothing but a stupid tease. You say you love me but you won't promise me you will still love me after I leave. Who does that??" He raised his voice again.

"Leave, now." I knew it was useless trying to explain why I would never promise him that.

"Fine, I'm going." He uttered pissed and started to climb out the window. When he was on the solid ground he walked away from my house without looking back.

Thats the night we broke up. I couldn't promise something so simple because I knew I would do it. I knew I wouldn't stop loving him. I knew what that promise was; it was a reassurance to him. He took everything I loved away by just getting out of my window and walking away. He was everything I loved. I couldn't bring myself to cry then because he was there and that would have been weakness, but after that I cried nonstop at anything that reminded me of him. He was 16 and I was only 14 when everything happened. We were young, stupid, childish, naïve, and most importantly, in love. That could have been one of the reasons our parents hell no to us dating. The age difference. Doesn't seem so big on two fingers but means everything in maturity. Harry wanted things that I wasn't allowed to give. Harry did things I wasn't allowed to do. Harry wanted me and I wasn't allowed to want him back.