THE WAITING ROOM
INT. AUDITORIUM AND STAGE
The curtain rises on a waiting room. There are six seats, five of which are occupied, two by men and three by women. Positioned from STAGE RIGHT to STAGE LEFT are the RECEPTIONIST, MAN #1, an empty seat, WOMAN #1, MAN #2, WOMAN #3, and WOMAN #2. The RECEPTIONIST is seated at a desk and is busy writing in a book. The rest of the WAITERS are in similar chairs, occupied in various enterprises, such as reading a magazine, sleeping, or staring blankly into space. The LIGHTS are half-full.
From the rear of the auditorium enters an USHER, followed by DANIEL. DANIEL is wearing glasses and appears a bit frail. The USHER is holding a small flashlight in one hand and DANIEL's ticket in the other. The USHER leads DANIEL down the center aisle. As they approach the stage, DANIEL begins to hesitate.
DANIEL: (whispering) Excuse me. (beat) Excuse me.
USHER: (urges DANIEL forward with his flashlight) This way.
DANIEL: (tiptoes towards the USHER and points behind them) I think my seat's back there.
USHER: (looking at DANIEL's ticket) No, sir. This way.
DANIEL follows meekly until both DANIEL and the USHER reach a set of steps leading up to the stage.
USHER: Up there, sir. Last available seat.
DANIEL is confused. He peers up at the stage, then turns back to the AUDIENCE.
DANIEL: I think there's a mistake. I just came to watch the play. I'm not in it.
USHER: (checking the ticket) That's your seat, sir. Please hurry. We're disturbing the audience.
DANIEL: But, I'm not in the play. That's the stage. That's for people in the play.
The USHER takes DANIEL's elbow and pulls him towards the steps.
DANIEL: Please, let go. I want to go back there.
The USHER moves behind DANIEL and pushes him up the steps.
USHER: Sir, you must take your seat.
The USHER pushes DANIEL up one step, then a second step.
DANIEL: (turning to the USHER) I don't want to go up.
AUDIENCE MAN: (stands angrily) Will you please get up on the stage? I want to see the play.
DANIEL hesitates. The USHER continues pushing him.
DANIEL: (protesting) I'm not in play.
AUDIENCE WOMAN: (standing and annoyed) Please. Go up already!
DANIEL: (almost shouting) But I'm not in-
With a final push, the USHER successfully moves DANIEL to the stage. The LIGHTS come up full. Above the stage, a sign stating "APPLAUSE" lights up and flashes for a few seconds.
DANIEL stands at the edge of the stage. With reluctance, DANIEL walks to the desk of the RECEPTIONIST, but continues to look to the AUDIENCE for assistance.
RECEPTIONIST: (with authority) Last name!
DANIEL: Excuse me, but I think-
YOU ARE READING
The Waiting Room - A One-Act Play
HumorDaniel Underwood went to see a play. He just didn't realize he was in it. "The Waiting Room is a laugh-a-minute theatrical ride. A cross between Waiting for Godot and Rent (without the music)." - Henry P. Tuttleman, The New York Herald "I laughed...
