Same Old Love (Part 2 of Forbidden)

Wasn't Ready

If I had just closed my eyes and walked away. If you had never looked at me nor talked to me. If you hadn't come...

It's 3:48 am, he's got nothing on me. Except my heart. My stomach drops into a bottomless pit. Slowly, I take a deep breath. You can do this, I tell myself. You've been beaten far worse before.

I lost sleep last night, staring at the open window and wondering if he was with someone... whom he was with. Part of me wanted to force myself to watch so that I don't get any delusions of our few moments spent together. Everything else I feel is a figment of my imagination and only fueled by watching him. It's wrong. I know it is. And it feels even more wrong now that I know who he is.

But I still want to watch.

Maybe it's masochistic of me.

Maybe it's not.

Maybe it's selfish.

Yawning and stretching, I pull myself out of bed and force myself to bypass the binoculars and head straight for the bathroom. If I hurry, I'll still have time to eat some breakfast before leaving to investigate Edwards apartment and going to see a locksmith.

"Julie, can I have something stronger than coffee in here?" I pointed to the cup

"Yeah." She poured some vodka in my coffee.

"You look like a walking corpse, man." She said as she sipped her mug of coffee

"Thanks. Tell me something I don't know." I took a sip as well

"The bags under your eyes are quite a delectable shade of purple. What brand is that?" She touched my eyelids carefully

"Insomnia," I added

"Nice. Gotta tries that sometime." Wiggling her eyebrows

"Do I honestly look that bad?" I questioned

"Eh, just a little!" She teased

"Bells, what is this purse filled with? I wanna use it!" Alice said coming downstairs with the purse that contained all of the evidence I found at Edward's office. Fuck.

"Oh, nothing." I snatched the purse from her hand and placed it on the chair next to me. She took the bag in suspicion and emptied it out.

"A journal. Tied with an actual ribbon. If you leave something like this lying around you're just begging for it to be read." She held it, trying to open it

"It isn't mine! Now stop." I pleaded

"Bells, why do you have pictures of Edward in a suit? And a key? A gold key?" Juliet asked

I stayed quiet, maybe if I don't say a word they'd go away. This was all I needed an intervention from them.

"Bells, spill. Now!" Alice slammed the book on the counter.

"It's Edwards. There all for Edward. I found them in a box under his desk, at his office." I took my final sip of vodka coffee.

They both had the same confused look on their faces. The look I've had the last 48 hours. "Well, these are strange things. People hide things like these for two reasons. And both of these reasons aren't pretty ones." Juliet said as she looked through every picture in the pile

I shrugged not knowing what to say. "Well, one; he could be running away from someone or the law. Or two; he's cheating." Alice suggested

"I'll go with number 2!" Juliet told her confidently. "Guys, seriously. It's just a key and a bunch of ripped up pictures and a journal. What's there to hide?" I pulled my hair out of my face