(This is written as of July 5th, 2016. The story is only at 4 chapters as of writing this review.)
Alright lets delve right into this story and we didn't have to go very far. Incert? You mean Insert? Goddamnit, how do you spell the name of your genre wrong IN THE TITLE OF YOUR STORY! That is literally turns people off right away. In fact, that title is the only reason I chose to review this. I don't know what the Vocaloids are. I don't know who Hatsune Miku is and frankly I don't care. I would have never even opened this story were it not for the misspelling of insert. No, seriously, this makes me mad. It's your fucking title! How do you mess up a word in your title?! I can understand having a misspell here or there in your chapters. I do it all the time, and I don't have the will to hunt every single one of them down. But the title, the thing that represents your work, the words that introduce people to your writing, and you spell insert wrong? Tauntingly tickle my testicles, this makes me mad. It's not even a hard thing to change. Just go to "edit story" and change the title. One letter. One fucking letter is all you need to do. If you fixed this then you wouldn't have had me tearing your story apart now, would you? Lesson to those reading, SPELL YOUR TITLE CORRECTLY.
I could go on for more, but lets continue. My apologies for that. Being the first review, there are some things you need to know. For one, this won't be absolutely professional. I will speak how I want - sometimes dramatically or just for a chuckle - and I'll say what I want. I'll give every story exactly what it deserves, be it critique or praise. This will be split into three catagories: Character, Story, and Grammar. Each of those will be given a score out of ten, five being average.
Grammar
Okay, so, the grammar isn't all that bad, surprisingly. There are a decent amount of spelling mistakes (like incert) but most of it is alright. Even the sentence structure is fine, and the over all look is easy to follow. There is a funny mistake I saw in the second chapter that reads "I said looking at me." That made me laugh, honestly, as "I" wasn't looking in a mirror at the time. However, this is an introduction to a constant problem. Nearly every line of dialogue ends with "(person) said looking at (person). This becomes very noticeable and EXTREMELY annoying as you read. It doesn't vary. Every time someone speaks it ends like that, and it annoys the hell out of me. There are so many different ways to end a sentence. "I said, scratching my neck." "He said, his eyes drifting away from me once he's silent." Or just leave it blank. The constant he said/she said/ I said looking at whoever is what really brings the story down grammatically.
So overall, I'd give the grammar a 5/10. It's average. It's not great, there are problems, but there's nothing that severely hurts the story other than the annoying "looking at them" stuff.
Story
Alright, so I don't know what the Vocaloids are. I've never watched the anime, but I'll try to judge this all as it's own story. So if I'm wrong about something involving the show, I'm sorry. Anyway, lets go. The story of the four chapters is basically the reader becoming a bodyguard for the Vocaloids. That's... about it. Honestly, I think there should have been a chapter before the first one. You see, the story starts off with Hatsune Miku worried about being assaulted by fans. It's quite a surprising start, honestly. At the same time, the reader is getting their armed fixed up. To me, there should have been a chapter showing Miku being assaulted during her performance, then showing the reader doing his last fight. This would actually show us the problems, who the characters are, and what they do. It simply would have been better overall.
