The Strong Will Survive

Chapter Twenty-Seven - Lilith [EDITED]

This is probably the longest chapter in the entire book. It's one that I'm quite proud of, however, and I'd say that it's worth the long read!

Nightmares plagued me as I slept, as per usual. They trapped me in my own mind so I couldn't escape into consciousness.

I was outside of the Costco, surrounded by snarling zombies. They weren't just the nondescript zombies we saw in the street, however - they wore the faces of Mom, Dad, Kelsie. They leapt for me and I cowered, screaming, as their teeth and nails dug into my flesh.

Then I melted through the ground and fell onto a couch. It was extremely comfortable. I began to relax, my heart rate slowing, until I noticed something red in my peripheral vision.

Benji was lying in a pool of blood, eyes glassy and unseeing. KC and Jared were leaning, snarling, over him. I screamed and they turned to glare at me with eyes as scarlet as the blood they knelt in.

"Wake up. Come on, Lilith, wake up!"

I sat bolt upright screaming, the cry tapering into a sob. Benji gripped my shoulders firmly, staring worriedly into my eyes.

"Hey." His tone was gentle. "You okay?"

I nodded, breathing hard and pushing my sweat soaked hair out of my face. I scrubbed at the tears falling uncontrollably from my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said. "This is embarrassing."

"No, it's okay. Lydia always had really bad nightmares, too."

"Somehow, being compared to a little kid in this aspect isn't comforting." I had almost said insane little kid, but had stopped myself just in time. I took a deep breath and slowly, my tears stopped.

"Sorry." Benji sat back on his heels. "I didn't think. I'm bad at this sort of thing"
"It's okay," I assured him. We fell into a comfortable silence as my heart stopped trying to hammer its way out of my chest.

Finally, Benji asked, "What were you dreaming about?"

"What do you think?" I snapped, and instantly felt bad. I hadn't meant to be so harsh, but my nightmare was the last thing I wanted to think about at the moment.

"I know the things that were probably front and center, but...talking about them helps." I remembered his therapist mom and nodded.

After briefly explaining my nightmare, we fell silent again. Finally, Benji said, smiling humorlessly, "Okay, it helps if the person you're talking to is a competent therapist."

"No, no. It helped. Thanks."

He smiled, this time a real one. Again, silence.

"You can go back to bed," I finally said reluctantly. "I'll be fine."

He glanced down at his hands, resting on his knees and sighed. "No, Lilith," he countered gently, "you won't."

I dropped my gaze, too. I felt the tears coming again.

"Why am I such a nuisance?" I whispered. "I'm dead weight. Seriously, you guys should just feed me to the zombies already."

"Don't say that. Don't ever say that!" Benji snapped, and instantly, I remembered his mothers. My hands flew to my mouth.
"Oh, god, Benji, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." His tone was bitter. "You weren't thinking."

"That doesn't make it okay. I'm being stupidly...stupidly suicidal and sad all the time and I just can't feel better!" I broke off with a sob and recovered. "And I get really angry and then I get happy and it's always either high or low, high or low. It won't stop!" I was too emotionally confused to truly cry, although the tears still fell, running down my face.