\\Phan One-Shots//

Regrets

1,024 words In this one!🦁=Phil
Tw: nothing extreme just feels and sadness, some swearing 😢😦
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re·gret
rəˈɡret/
verb
1.
feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity).

Phil had felt regret all throughout his life. When he didn't stand up to the bullies. When he tried to smoke behind a shed and was caught by his mum. And many more. But nothing, NOTHING. Would amount to the regret he was feeling now. He shouldn't be standing here he should be standing were he is standing. The one that was waiting for "the love of his life".

He should have told him. God damnit he should have told him. God knows he had plenty of opportunities to in the past. When he first realized that he loved his best friend. He should have told him. When they talked about if they would work as a couple, he should've shoved his lips onto the ones he had dreams about kissing. When they walked around holding hands or when the did something that was definitely not in platonic territory. When they were asked again and again if they were " just platonic" or were they dating.

He should have yelled at the top of his lungs that he, yes he wanted his best friend in the most romantic way.
He should have said those three words when we had the chance. Before Dan had him. Before he saw the love that his roommate held for him slip through their fingers. He had so many chances but he was a coward, he still is a coward to this very day, watching this scene unfold before his eyes. And he knew that he could not take those words back.
He had denied it oh so many times.

"Really Dan?!? Who are you to think that I would so much as like some one like you?? Who would love you!?? Cause if you can't love yourself then no one is going to love you!!" He sneered.
Oh how much he regretted those words. If only he had said the ones he was thinking.
"No, Dan you don't understand. I have enough love for you and me. I want to show you what you should love about yourself. Please... Please! I take it back!!! I take everything back!!!"

The sound of music brought Phil out of the dark abyss that was now his mind. It was a familiar song one that he and Daniel had danced and sung to themselves, he could recognize it anywhere. Undisclosed Desires by Muse. He took this as a queue that it was time. He had held back his feelings for years he could do it for a few more hours. He would not cry. Everyone in front of him had risen as the doors opened and in walked Dan and his mother. Everyone was staring and if he knew Dan (which he did) it was as if he was keeping that confident facial expression as a front.
He was scared. No one else could tell but Phil could. He always has been able to tell even the slightest change in Dan. But this is beside the point.

Phil had now noticed how absolutely beautiful Daniel looked right now. He always had been able to rock a suit, but now he was stunning. This was the most white that he had seen Dan wear in a while. His hair was straightened and combed neatly to the left, as always.
And his eyes oh his eyes, Phil could stare into those eyes for eternity. He never understood why Dan thought they were boring. They reminded him of chocolate, the richest and most radiant color of brown he thought could exist. Phil was too busy staring at Dan to figure out that he was up the isle already and he had already been handed over to him. They were standing face to face. The only face he could see though was that of his new found nemesis.

But he would put what he felt and thought out of his mind. He could only care about other people. Not himself, he had no reason to anyway. Phil knew what was going to come out of this marriage. It would be heartbreak, it always had been and alway will be. And who was always left either job to pick up Dans broken pieces? Phil. It was always Phil's problem it was always him who had to deal with the crying and the heart wrenching sobs that could be heard through the thin walls. He had had enough.

He knew what he was going to do. He was going to leave England. It was his only option. He had to. He would leave them to be "happy", and they would never see one another again.

<<<<<<Time Skip>>>>>>

It was almost time to leave the reception. And Phil was filled with dread. It was time to say goodbye bye for the last time to the love of his life. It wasn't exactly going to be easy.

So as he walked up the them he couldn't help but try not to cry. Dan had turned to him immediately after he felt Phil's presence. He smiled. Not one of those oh look a camera footage smile smiles.
No, this was pure sunlight, it looked like he was channeling the entire Milky Way into that one smile. It was hard to think that this was the last time Phil would see Dan smile in the flesh. Before Phil knew what was happening he was being pulled into a hug. This hug was none like the ones they've shared before, it was filled with much more passion. It was like Dan knew Phil was leaving also. And what happened next was surprising in the least.
Dan had whispered "Thank you." In His ear. And Phil found him whispering back those three little words that he couldn't say for so many years out loud in Dans ear.

"I love you Daniel. So so much." And with that Phil released Dan from their hug. And turned around and walked out of that place.

TADA!!! I hope you guys liked it. It was quite long. Sorry. But I wanted to start this off with a bang. Not literally though. 😉 The next one should be up soon but I have no idea so be prepared!!! Bye bye!!!!!