lost ~completed~

chapter 3

Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Maybe years. Ludwig couldn't tell how much time had passed. Everything seemed to pass in a daze. He had been stuck in the room with his hands tied to the post for what seems like forever. His wrists were just about rubbed raw, his back and neck hurt and he was numb in some places he didn't want to think about. He barely was aware of the pain he felt physically.

His chest hurt more then anything. He had often felt this feeling before whenever Italy came down with a cold or whenever he would get hurt. Back then it had been a dull pain. Now it was sharp and constantly there. No matter how much he tried to think about something else his thoughts returned to Italy. He felt so guilty for hurting Feliciano for all those years. He was sure that Feliciano would have noticed if something was wrong with him even if he tried to hide it. Feliciano had always been so considerate for other people. Or at least Ludwig thought he had been.

Now he wondered how much of his life had been a lie. Back in World War II, Hitler had told him that he would create a better, stronger and cleaner Germany. Germany and his people had believed him. They were a broken country, having already lost World War I. Hitler promised change and prosperity. Then he changed. Things starting turning from bad to worse. Millions of German citizens were taken from their homes and killed.

Feliciano had been with Ludwig for most of the war. Feliciano had left him to join the allies but if Ludwig had been Feliciano he would have left himself too. When the war had been over Feliciano came back eventually. He had helped Ludwig get over the loss of the war and when Gilbert had ceased to exist as a country. Luckily, the older German brother was still alive but he wasn't a country.

Ludwig's thoughts drifted to his bruder. Gilbert enjoyed bugging Ludwig, Roderick and Elizabetha. Now that he wasn't a country he had even more time to bug them. Ludwig and Gilbert were a lot closer then they appeared. Most of Ludwig's childhood memories included the older albino. Whether it was Gilbert playing with Ludwig, getting drunk, or protecting Ludwig from other countries, Gilbert was around almost all the time. Gilberts loud laugh and proclaims of being awesome appeared to annoy Ludwig but ever since Prussia's dissolution, Ludwig would enjoy to hear his bruder. It reminded him of how lucky he was that the Prussian was still around.

Even as Ludwig thought of Gilbert, Feliciano wandered his way into Ludwig's thoughts. The ache in his chest that had lessened when thinking of his bruder, increased sharply when the image of the smiling Italian flashed into his mind.

Ludwig was like a zombie. He just stared at the floor in shock, his cyan eyes dull and unfocused. He wanted his Feli, the old Feli. This thing wasn't Feliciano. It was just a monster that had destroyed his Feliciano, morphing his sweet mind into a dangerous weapon. All Ludwig had to do was find Feli deep inside him and bring him out. It couldn't be too hard...right ?

It might not be hard if Feliciano actually came to see him but he only came around once a week and during those times he would beat Ludwig.

Ludwig anticipated and dreaded his visits. Just a look at Feliciano comforted Ludwig's nerves but also chilled him, making him feel cold and empty. Feliciano changed so much in a short bit of time that Ludwig struggled to grasp it. Those warm, sparkling chocolate eyes he used love were now cold and furious. Just the sight of Ludwig seemed to anger the Italian, sending him into a fury of punches, kicks and screams.

"How dare you ? How dare you treat me so badly! I hate you! I hate you ! I want to kill you!" Feliciano screamed as he kicked Ludwig's chest with the tip of his boot, driving all the breath from Ludwig's battered body. He punched Ludwig's face and stomach with leather gloved hands.

Ludwig's head was hanging down, his now messy and bloody blond hair hanging in his face like a mop. His body was slumped against the pole, weak from pain and deprivement of food. He moaned weakly, lifting his head to look up at Feliciano with sad, bruised blue eyes. One of his eyes was almost swollen shut. Blood leaked from deep lacerations on his cheek and forehead, mixing with dirt and running down his face and neck. His breathing came as a shallow wheeze as he struggled to focus on Feliciano. Feliciano stared down at him with a look of pure hatred and disgust.