lost ~completed~

chapter 31

They continued to trek on until it grew dark. By the time it was dark, they had found a shelter to hide in that resembled a small cave. They couldn't light a fire in fear that any Mounties would see the glow or the smoke, so they huddled close together to keep warm.

Ludwig had gently set his fallen friend on the cave floor and arranged his body so he was lying on his back with his hands crossed over his chest. Ludwig stayed crouched by his friend, unwilling to leave. Chewing on his lip to keep himself from crying again, he looked down at his friend's pale face. Even in the dimness of the cave, Kiku's face seemed as it was illuminated by the pale moonlight. He seemed as if he was only sleeping; like he could open his eyes at any moment and smile comfortingly at Ludwig.

Ludwig didn't even notice Mei join him as she crouched beside him. She had been crying the entire time, though her sobs had faded to pitiful whimpers. Yao also joined them. Despite their past, Kiku was still his brother. His face was solemn as he put a hand on Mei's shoulder.

"Get some sleep, Mei. We have another long day tomorrow and you'll need your rest, aru." he murmured quietly. Mei didn't seem to hear him. She bowed her head and touched her forehead to Kiku's chest. Her black hair swept around Kiku, blanketing his chest and stomach.

Ludwig didn't say or look at the two. He felt responsible for his friend's death. If only he had been strong enough to swim across on his own, if only he had trained more. If he had, Kiku might still be alive. He couldn't believe it was real. He couldn't believe he had lost both of his best friends. He had also almost lost his brother. If he had lost his brother he didn't know what he would do. He would have lost everyone he was close to.

His thoughts drifted to Feliciano. He knew there was no chance of them ever reinstating their friendship. He didn't want to be friends with the Italian. He had done too much and caused so much death and destruction. Just thinking of the Italian cast a dark shadow over him. He didn't care about trying to save the Italian anymore. It was his fault all of this was happening; it was his fault that Kiku was trapped in his eternal slumber.

Ludwig clenched his hands into fists, trying to control his anger and grief in vain. Jaw clenching and veins protruding, Ludwig thought of all he could do to the Italian. He no longer saw Feliciano as his friend or even a past friend. Feliciano was simply a monster that must be stopped. Plans began to form in Ludwig's head; plans on how he could rid the world of the dark menace that had taken over.

A hand resting on his shoulder halted his thoughts. Ludwig's head snapped up and looked towards the owner of the hand. Roderick glanced down at him, amethyst eyes round with compassion.

"Why don't you come sleep by Gilbert, Elizaveta and I?" he offered. His hand fell off his shoulder and pointed over to where Elizabetha was checking Gilbert to see if he had any new wounds or if any of his older ones had reopened.

Turning back to Kiku's body, Ludwig hesitated. As if sensing his hesitation, Roderick said, "He'll still be here tomorrow. You, however, need to get some sleep."

Ludwig nodded and stood up. He couldn't hide from the facts. As much as he wanted to stay by Kiku for as long as he could, he had to get some sleep and he wanted to sleep by his other friends and his brother. In times like this, who knew how long they would be around ?

Ludwig took one last glance at the Japanese man and stood up with a grunt of effort. He felt years older than he actually was. His knees cracked as he stood and his body ached. Roderick led him over to where the Prussian and Hungarian were seated. Scarlet eyes rose to meet Ludwig's blue orbs.

"How're you doing?" Gilbert asked. His voice sounded strained, like he was trying to sound normal but failing. Ludwig looked back at his brother as he sat down. He could tell Gilbert was making an effort to act normal and strong for Ludwig. It was clear though that they were all hurting.