23 fail-safe ways to annoy the crap out of Lord Voldemort
Do not try this at home.
Ever.
1. When your talking to him, say his name but accidentally call him Tommy.
2. Apologize severely then say you meant to call him Voldie.
3. Gasp and swear you just had sugar.
4. Ask if his pet snake is around
5. While he's stroking his snake say in a loud audible whisper: "You pet that thing!"
6. Yawn while he's trying to create an evil plan
7. When he talks about killing people, say "That's not nice Voldie"
8. Recommend him to take anger management lessons
9. Wonder aloud if his snake and him are related
10. Say the family resemblance is very prominent in the nose
11. Ask him if he would like a cup of tea
12. Set him up for a conference about killing Harry Potter
13. Make the conference at a coffee shop with a lady who is looking for a riddle
14. Stay ten feet away, plugging your nose
15. Ask him if he has dental insurance
16. If he is making an angry speech at you because you tried any of these, smile and bob your head the whole time
17. Steal his robes while he sleeps
18. Follow him everywhere he goes
19. When he looks at you, stare back with a semi-interested expression
20. Ask him if tearing yourself apart hurts with a mother-like tone
21. Pat him on the shoulder at random times
22: Say he needs to talk out his feelings with Harry Potter
23: Ask him if he likes being machoistic
