Surviving the Undead

Chapter 11

"Milford 10 km" read the weather-beaten sign standing in front of us. My face broke out into a wide grin. "We've almost made it!" I exclaimed, turning to my right to see Luke smiling back at me. I was so overjoyed that the long days of walking and exhaustion were almost over that I grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

At first he seemed a bit surprised, but quickly hugged me back. After a few seconds I released him, turning to smile at the others. My smile quickly faded as I made eye contact with James. He was glowering at Luke and I. Almost instantly he dropped his stare, and turned away. My eyes shifted to Aidan, but he was pretending to look elsewhere. Vanessa's mouth was set in a tight line; she was obviously perturbed about my hug with Luke.

I felt a swell of anger, but I soon deflated. Me getting angry would probably just make things worse.

"Lunch break, guys?" Luke asked, always quick to get us out of an awkward situation. Everyone headed off in their own directions, no one feeling like chatting.

This had been happening all day. Aidan didn't really seem mad; he was just avoiding me. I assumed he felt awkward about last night. Meanwhile, James was definitely angry. Every time I so much as came near him he stormed off, fire in his hazel eyes. It was strange how different he was when he got angry.

I stood by the sign, contemplating what to do next. During my near sleepless night, I had come to a decision about my next move in each situation. While Aidan sat in the shade closer to me eating his lunch, James was sitting across the road with his arms crossed, glaring at the ground. I knew which one of them I would rather handle first, but I also knew which one was more important at the moment.

I took a deep breath, and walked across the pavement towards James. The most important thing was to keep my temper. I thought he was overreacting, big time.

"Hey," I said, as I reached James. He looked up at me with blank expression on his face. "Can we talk?" I asked seriously.

"Sure," he muttered, gesturing to the grass surrounding him. I slid off my backpack and sat down facing him, enjoying the cool tickle of grass on the back of my legs.

"Okay, before I say what I have to say, can you please tell me exactly why you're angry with me?" I asked, searching his face.

He pierced me with his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked angrily. "I told you I like you, and everything seemed to be going great... And then right before I kissed you, you shoved me off and ran off to God knows where. Oh yeah, and then today you've been all over Luke right in front of me."

"'All over him'?" I asked with an edge in my voice. "You've got to be kidding me. I've hugged him once."

He snorted. "You also have been walking with him the entire day."

I took in a deep breath, ready to yell at him for his idiocy, when I looked into his eyes. Beneath the anger I saw hurt. It made me pause.

"I'm just friends with Luke. Maybe if someone hadn't been pissed at me, I would have been talking to them instead," I couldn't resist remarking.

James' eyes flashed, and he opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off by holding up a hand. "Before you say anything else, please listen to what I'm going to tell you."

His mouth closed, and he nodded curtly.

I closed my eyes, letting the cool breeze dance across my face. Autumn would be upon us soon. I took in a couple of deep breaths to prepare myself. I felt nervous. It was unsettling.

"James..." I began. "I decided that you're right."

I clasped my hands together tightly, bracing myself for what I was about to say. "You're right about not letting anyone in. Since... well, since my best friend died I haven't wanted to get close to anyone. I mean, if we got close and then I lost them, I would just hurt all over again. But like I said, you're right. It's better to love someone, even if it's just for a short time, than to always be alone." I stopped to catch my breath. "The reason I pushed you off was because I needed time to think everything through, okay?"