I swear this is what I want. {BoyXBoy}

Chapter 7

DEREK'S P.O.V

I sat in the waiting room just letting the tears fall. Why did he look at me like that? Why did he yell at me? Did he blame me for what happened? I don't know... But he can't... This wasn't my fault... Was it? Was it because of me that Erik went after him? If we had never had the encounter in his house... Would any of this had happened?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see my mom.

"Hey sweetie... James' mom is on her way... How're you doing?" she whispered sitting in the chair next to me. I shook my head and put my face in my hands.

"I know this is hard for you... Seeing him like that..." She said and rubbed my back gently.

"It's not just that mom..." I choked out. I sat back a little and wiped my face with my sleeve.

"What are you talking about?" She asked and looked at me confused. I shook my head and sobbed quietly into my arm.

"This is all my fault... If I had never.. If we hadn't... I screwed him up big mom..." I sobbed and turned to her with tears streaming down my face.

"Now, don't you dare blame yourself for this. You don't know that if you guys had never got together, that he wouldn't have went after either of you. He's a messed up kid who would have eventually done this to someone else.." she whispered and rubbed my back gently. I sobbed harder and got up slowly.

"I should go. He doesn't want me here..." I mumbled and walked toward the exit. I heard her get up and follow behind me. I sobbed as I walked to the car. I got in the backseat and layed down, curling into a ball. Mom got in the drivers seat and started the car. We started to leave and I couldn't even think right. I felt so broken and just destroyed. I couldn't believe he said those things to me... That he looked at me with so much blame and anger. I couldn't comprehend it. Where did I go wrong?

"I hate my life..." I mumbled and, unable to cry anymore, I fell into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JAMES' P.O.V

I woke up to a nurse checking my machines.

"Sorry sweetie... You've been asleep a while. How're you feeling?"

"Terrible... Then again, I just got stabbed three times... So I suppose that's normal." I joked darkly. She smiled at me gently and walked back out. I rolled over and looked at the ceiling. I listened to the steady beeping of my machines and the soft sound of my moms breathing. I put my hands behind my head and sighed deeply.

Did I really blame him or was I looking for someone to hurt so I could forget my pain?

No... This is all his fault. If we had never done anything, Erik never would've come after either of us. He's to blame here. That fag. I hate him. I hate him so much it burns in my stomach and makes my heart want to burst. I'll now have permanent scars on my body... because of him. I glared at the ceiling and thought of all the shit he put me through. He made me worried sick, he put me through hell with Erik, and now he's made me end up in the hospital.

I wish he would die.

"Honey..? You awake?" I heard mom say groggily.

"Yeah mom, I'm up." I whispered and looked over at her dropping my glare and smiling gently at her.

"Mmm, good. We can go home soon.." She said stretching and getting up.

"Really?" I asked sitting up slowly and smiling for real. She nodded and walked over to me. She tossled my hair and kissed my forehead.

"You need a haircut." She whispered and walked to the bathroom. I nodded and looked at the sheets covering my body. I glared hard and growled.

It's his fault... All his fault.