The Waterdancer

Chapter 34

The funeral was held three days after the deaths of my nephews and Nemirien. As the King of Erebor and a family member of the deceased, it was my responsibility to attend and eulogize. Though I knew my absence would have been noted, I was reluctant to go. I did not want to see any of them like that. Those corpses...they were not my family. They weren't there. All three of them were so lively, so cheerful. They couldn't be there. It was impossible.

I couldn't look at them as I spoke. I could feel my tears fighting their way out as I talked about them. The way Fili had a fierce, but kind love for those he cared about, and what a great king he would have been one day. The way Kili was never afraid to express his beliefs, but always had a smile on his face. The way Nemirien's strong will got her through the cruelty of the world, yet her eyes displayed all the love of an innocent child.

As painful as it was, I told her story. All of it. I told the tale of an Elemental who was born into a world that despised her kind. I told the thousands of pairs of ears about how she saved us, and how we all owed her a debt that we could never repay. Without her, we would never have our home back. Without her, there would have been even more countless bodies on that battlefield. I told them to spread the word. I would see that no other Elemental would have to go through the same pain. I would see that the good, honorable memory of the Elemental I knew would never fade.

When some of the others came up to speak, I had to turn my head away from everyone. I would let no more than a few tears escape my eyes as I heard their voices breaking in the middle of their speeches.

Balin. Fili and Kili were such fine lads. Always kind, always smiling, always laughing. The two were completely inseparable and...I guess it would only make sense for them to go...together. As brothers.

Bilbo. They were my friends. All three of them. Never in my life have I met any fauntlings who could match the cheerfulness of Fili and Kili. And...and Nemirien...she was the best friend I ever had. She was so kind...and...she...she made me feel so welcome...She made me feel like I belonged. And...I could never thank her enough for that.

When it was over, I could only remember two people approaching me. Gandalf came to me first, and it took all my willpower to keep a straight face as even he choked on his words.

I wasn't sure about taking her in. I knew what she was, which made me cautious. She was so battered, she looked like she should've been dead for a week. I didn't think she would last. She proved me so wrong...After everything she'd been through...she was always so delightful...so lovely. Nemirien truly was a rare soul to come by. She frequently spoke so highly of you...Yes, though she may have convinced you otherwise in the beginning...she loved you even then.

I was staring at nothing in particular when the second person came to me. Once he caught my attention, I beckoned Legolas over to sit down. The Elf prince gratefully thanked me for putting aside our differences, and allowing him to enter a Dwarf kingdom so he could attend Nemirien's funeral. I remember waving him off, but he had more to say.

I was a terrible brother. I don't need to explain it to you, I know that you already knew that. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it was wrong. I knew that she wasn't bad. Nemirien was...her heart was always brighter than the stars. She wasn't just good...she was better. She was better than me. And...the way I treated her...I just wanted to say...thank you. Thank you for being her family. Thranduil was never her father...it was you.

After saying his piece, I made Legolas aware of my burial arrangements for Nemirien. The Elf prince would always be welcome at his sister's final resting place.

...

It had been two weeks since the funeral, and I hardly left my bedroom. I hardly ate or spoke. I always passed through the halls quietly, and I ignored the majority of those who tried to catch my attention. What was the point? I had now lost nearly everyone I have ever loved. I had no nephews, and no daughter.  I spent most of my days in bed. That was the only time I didn't feel like everything was lost. Every time I closed my eyes, that was when I saw her.