Pure white (Yaoi)

Pure white
Ch. 0
Unwanted

Snow covers everything. 
Even the depths of my soul

ICHIGO POV                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

It was a nice winter day in Karakura Town. The sky was grey, no trace of blue. The clouds were covering that mesmerizing blue that usually was above the town. The air was cold, drying my nose as I tried to breathe it. I yawned tiredly and continued my walk.
I was on holiday since yesterday and I didn't have much to do. So I walked streets alone to clear break the boredom. 

White snowflakes started to dance in the cold air, some of them spinning in the air before they touched the frozen street, some of them just floating in the air being worn by the cold wind that was blowing gently. The trees were empty, all their leaves laying who down their foot. Some of the trees seemed to try to bend down at their leaves as if they were trying to take them back. But that was only my imagination. The wind wasn't blowing that rough. 
I looked at the sky thoughtful and I raised my left hand to catch a snowflake. As soon as it landed in my hand it melt transforming into water, but to me it looked like a tear. What were snowflakes, anyway? Weren't they tears that pretended to be something else just because the truth hurt too much? No, of course not. But it only seemed that way. 

I was staying on the river bank, staring at the frozen water that was slowly covered by the cold white snow. Some crows were cawing breaking the silence. Their cawing seemed so lonely, so desperate and a part of me understood that. Weren't they just lonely? Being hated by everyone wasn't simple at all. He knew that very well. The cold wind was blowing gentle, probably, but to me it seemed that it wanted to cut my cheeks' skin. White snowflakes landed in my hair, some of them melting and running down my cheeks making me shiver at the contact, the other staying in my hair, but I wasn't bothered by it. 

I shoved my hand in my pocket trying to warm them up and I looked. That place was the place where my mother has died to protect me. I can remember that day perfectly as if it were yesterday. It was a winter day, just like this one. I was little at that time so I kind of messed up when I tried to put my neckcloth on. It somehow loosen up and flew to the river. At that time the water wasn't frozen and I ran to catch it. My mom followed me but she tripped and hit her head. She died. At first I didn't want to believe it. But it was true. When dad found out, he was so angry and sad that he left me. Zangetsu left me in the train station, his eyes full of hatred. I've killed my own mother…

Winter passed, spring came and passed too, summer as well. I've lost the track of time while waiting for someone to come. Lucky me that Zangetsu left me enough money to spend them my whole life. At first it was very hard, but in time I have adapted. I had to. 
I tried to call Zangetsu but he didn't pick up. Years passed and no one came…and I was still waiting for a certain someone to come and hug me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. That dad was going to tell me that he still loved me. But in vain. I knew very well that he would never come back. And I couldn't blame him. 

Today it has passed seven years since my mom died. So much time has passed but it seemed like it just happened. The pain hasn't disappeared, not even one moment. I remained alone, unable to make any friends. No one would like to have a criminal as their friend. Well no one knew what happened and I wouldn't let anyone learn the truth. I isolated myself from the others to protect them. Rukia tried to befriend me a lot of times but I refused and she gave up in the end. Now I was just a shadow in my high school, except those moments when people picked on me because of my hair color. They beat me up and there was no one who would help me. People ignored me or just stared at me as if he was some sort of a creature. But I can't blame them. I deserved it.