Pure white (Yaoi)

Chapter 1

Pure White

Ch. 1

Unexpected

I've learned that sun can shine on my street too…

*Ichigo's POV* 

    Where am I? I can't see anything; a dense darkness surrounds me as if the world I knew has vanished, as if the colors that painted my life turned all into black. It's so cold that I can't move my body. Somewhere, very far from me, I can hear a car. The sound is so faint that there's the possibility that I am imagining it. A cold wind starts to blow, making my body shiver. I can hear the wind whistling through some holes, whistling the song of loneliness. Again. Where am I?

     

   "Ichigo, darling, it's time to wake up", a well known voice started to say, but it seemed so far from me. "Ichigo" it said softly in my ear patting my shoulder. It was my mom's voice. I opened my eyes slowly and rubbed my eyes. It was a beautiful winter day; the sun was entering through the window. "It's snowing, Ichigo, look!", she said happily as if she were a kid, not me. 

    

    Darkness again. What was that? But I didn't have time to think about it. Some other images started to contour before me dragging me into it again just like a magnet attracts metal.

    

    I woke up earlier than I normally did and sneaked out of my room. I went downstairs in the living room and hid behind the couch. After a while seeing that no one was around I went forward and looked under the Christmas tree. There were three boxes, beautifully packed in Christmas themed paper. On each there was a ticket beautifully written. I stopped and looked at the red one. Then I took it and shook it then analyze it carefully. On the ticket there were letters I couldn't understand them at that time very well but the box, for sure wasn't for me. I put it down carefully and looked at the blue one. That time I didn't shake it since I wasn't sure whether it was mine or not. I only starred at the ticket trying to descript it. But something told me it wasn't time. So I turned my gaze at the last one, packed in an orange paper. I took him in my hands and narrowed my eyes to see the letters. It wasn't like I couldn't see them, but I couldn't really understand. 

Ichigo

    Somehow I knew it was for me. So without thinking I unpacked it and found an airplane. I played with it the whole day and the day before, until it broke. But my mom fixed it…She always found a way to fix things. To heal them. She was special…

    

    It was cold again. The warmth that was surrounding me disappeared gradually and I tried to raise my hands to catch it, but it vanished slowly from me…Then I realized that those were only memories. That no one was there to help me, to wrap their arms around me, to protect me. There was no one out there for me. No one. 

    And so I stood there, frozen and destroyed, hoping in vain for someone to come and be nice to me… The wind blew roughly making me shiver constantly, my hands were frozen. I was frozen…in time…

    I didn't move. I didn't even try to move. Why should I have done that? I had no reason. Outside there was nothing left for me. Only loneliness and guilt. So why should I rise again from my pitch black abyss in which I was just falling and falling. In my dark abyss there were memories. She was there. In the real world she was not. So why should I torture myself when I can live happily with her here? Even though this place is only an illusion…

    I knew it was, I only refused to admit it. That was all. Because I better lived in an illusion and be happy than live in the real world and be sorrow. The real world, well, it's real. This says all. Because reality is cruel. Reality is unfair. Reality is full of painful emotions, of sad facts. In reality humans are cruel monsters deep down in their soul. And some of them are shameless enough to let that monstrosity out. I could have done that too…