Professor Umbridge

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"In times of old when I was new
And Hogwarts barely started
The founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted:
United by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning,
To make the worlds best magic school
And pass along their learning.
Why, I was there and so can tell
A whole sad, sorry tale.
Said Slytherin "we'll teach just those
Whose ancestry is purest"
Said Ravenclaw "we'll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest"
Said Gryffindor "we'll teach all those
With brave deeds to their name"
Said Hufflepuff "I'll teach the lot
And treat them just the same"
Though condemned I am to split you
Still I worry that it's wrong,
Though I must fulfil my duty
And must quarter every year
Still wonder whether sorting
May not bring the end I fear.
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
The warning history shows,
For our Hogwarts is in danger
From external, deadly foes
And we must unite inside her
Or we'll crumble from within
I have told you, I have warned you...
Let the sorting now begin"

Slowly, the long line of first years thinned. In the pauses between the names and the sorting hats decisions, I could hear Crabbe's stomach rumbling loudly. After Rose Zeller had been sorted into Hufflepuff, Dumbledore rose to tell us that now wasn't the time for a speech.

Food appeared out of nowhere, so that the five long tables were supporting the weight of joints of meat, pies and dishes of vegetables, bread, sauces and flagons of pumpkin juice.

"Excellent" said Crabbe with a groan of longing, and he seized the nearest plate of pork chops and began piling them onto his plate. I settled for a small portion of steak and kidney pie, then a large plateful of my favourite treacle tart.

When all the students had finished eating and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upwards again, Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking immediately ceased.

"Now we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of attention" Dumbledore began "first years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students- and a few of our older students ought to know that by now too" He glanced at me and then to Harry "we have had two changes in staffing this year. We are pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-plank, who will be taking care of magical creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce professor Umbridge, our new defence against the dark arts teacher"

I became far more interested when Dumbledore began to mention Quidditch "Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the-"

He broke off. There was a moment when I hadn't understood why Dumbledore had stopped talking, but then Umbridge cleared her throat "hem, hem" and it became clear she had gotten to her feet and was intending to make a speech.

Dumbledore only looked taken aback for a moment, then he sat down smartly and looked alertly at Professor Umbridge as though he desired nothing better than to listen to her talk. Other members of staff were not as good at hiding their surprise. Professor Sprout's eyebrows had disappeared into her flyaway hair and professor Mcgonagall's mouth was as thin as I had ever seen it. No new teacher had ever interrupted Dumbledore before. Many students were smirking; this woman obviously didn't know how things were done at Hogwarts.

"Thank you, Headmaster" Professor Umbridge simpered "for those kind words of welcome"

Her voice was high-pitched and breathy. She gave another little throat-clearing cough 'hem, hem' and continued.

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