Dark enough

Chapter 1

So I'll have a playlist for every chapter. Either what I listened to while writing, or what I think goes well with the chapters. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy:)

Smother -daughter.
Song for Zulu - phosphorescent

I looked in the mirror hating everything I saw. Every inch, every curve, everything I hated. I pulled down my sweater sleeves so no one could see the marks I left on myself.
My mom yelled at me to hurry. I took one more hatful glance and grabbed my back running down the stairs.

The whole ride to school I wanted to cry. Why did I have to go? I can't even focus on what they're saying with all the words flying my way and the people there. Shoving me, calling me a suicidal bitch. Trying to pull my sleeves up. Making fun of my scars. Just everything.

I dreaded this every day. But I walked down the halls anyway. Hearing the comments, feeling the glares. Wanting to disappear completely. Wanting to go away and never come back.

Samantha the blonde girl everyone wants to be or shag stuck her foot out. I didn't see it in time and fell on my face. My books went everywhere and everyone laughed. Jocks walked by kicking my books farther from me. And spitting words my way. But nothing they hadn't said a million times before.

I finally made it to my seat and curled my head into my arms. Blocking out the rest of the world.  Until the teacher spoke and I had to listen.

"Good morning students. I have some exiting news!" I was already bored as Mr. Wickman spoke cheerfully. " we have a new student joining us today!" Great, someone else to pick on me.  "Everyone this is Elsie grey. I hope you'll all make her feel welcome. Miss grey you can take any empty seat."

I looked up and saw the girl he spoke to. She was tall and beautiful. Her long brown hair fit her perfectly. Her bright blue eyes were noticeable from across the room. She wore a Plaid skirt and black shirt with a Peter Pan collar. She had a vintage vibe to her.She was the definition of beauty. She was what I wanted to be.

She smiled before walking forward. People practically pushing people out of their seats to sit by her. She took the first seat that was already empty and took out a book. Looking down blocking out the comments of adoration from everyone.

Mr. Wickman spoke again but this time to the lesson. I was paying no attention until my name was said loudly. "I said ms. Black would you like to answer this?" I sighed before standing up,walking to the board. I wrote down my answer hearing the whispers. I turned and mr.wickman gave a brief statement on what I had wrote. Before I heard clapping.

I looked and found the new girl clapping and smiling. I awkwardly smiled and walked back to my seat. The lesson finished after an hour of gibberish. The bell rang and he dismissed everyone.

Everyone rushed to talk to the new girl. Everyone gathered around the poor thing as she tried to get out of the classroom. It was like when a new attraction comes to the fair, or a new painting is hung in an art studio and everyone wants to see it.

It was quite humorous honestly. I slipped by with ease. Somewhat thankful everyone was distracted so they didn't notice me. I had heard the words "emo slut" enough today.

I made it to second period finally. People in the hallways apparently love to walk as slow as possible. I walked in, wishing there wasn't assigned seating, but of course there was, and I had the pleasure of sitting on the second row.

Fun.

I sat and looked out the window. Ignoring all the other people in my class. Until a body set next to me. Which was weird because everyone kinda avoided my table.

I looked over and saw the new girl, Elsie I think? She smiled and spoke "hi I'm elsie. I'm so glad we're lab partners!" She exclaimed. I painfully smiled and spoke "I'm Amanda."
She smiled and pulled something out of her bag. "Would you like a muffin? I made some this morning but I made too many." She giggled to herself. "Um sure I guess." Her face lit up with excitement. "Awesome! Here you go!" She placed a napkin in fort of me and the muffin on top smiling.

She seemed so sweet. Having a lab partner might actually not suck. I smiled to myself and took a bite of the tasty thing. Honestly how did she make this? It's amazing.

I was having a good time talking to Elsie until Samantha and her "crew" walked in. Have you ever seen someone and they jus looked fake. That was her entire group of friends.

"Elsie." Samantha sneered. "You don't have to sit with, her" she said in disgust. Elsie looked at hurt. "Oh no I'm fine right here thank you." Samantha gasped "but why would you want to sit with and wired kid?"

I couldn't keep my mouth shout "because sitting with a "wired kid" is better than sitting with a bitch and the bitchets."

She gasped and walked off. Elsie snickered to herself. "That was a good one." She giggled. I smiled and the lesson began.

.............

It was third period now. I walked in and looked for Elsie. Hoping she'd be here so I'd have someone to talk to.
Maybe she was just being nice, maybe she was being nice out of pity. But I didn't care. I enjoyed her company and didn't want it to go away.

But she was no where to be seen. I guess she doesn't have this class. I sighed and walked to my seat. I was in art so I had my own area. Which was great! No one got close enough to do anything.

The hour went by pretty fast. So did my other classes. And finally it was time for lunch. I stood in the line and eventually got my food. I sat at the table by the window. No one else sat with me, which I was okay with.

I saw Elsie walk in and I wanted to wave for her to sit with me. But I knew she wouldn't want to. She smiled at people and I figured that's where she would sit.So I just looked out the window.

I was lost in my thoughts. When a body set across from me. "Hi!" Her sweet voice beamed. I was a little confused. If you're stuck in class with me I get being nice. But she doesn't have to outside of the room.

"So I was thinking, maybe we could go shopping at some point. I mean we both have very different styles. So we'd have to got to twice as many stores but we might find something we like there too." I interrupted her ramble. "You don't have to be nice to me you know."

She looked at me like I had just slapped a baby. "You don't have to pretend like you like me." She looked a little hurt at my words. " I'm not pretending, I genuinely enjoy your company. I wouldn't fake that."

I felt relief at her words but still questioned them. How could anyone really like me? Or enjoy what I have to say? She interrupted my thoughts again with the shopping idea. I agreed and we continued our conversation.

The rest of the day I didn't have Elsie in my classes but I mean I have her in two. So that's better than none I guess.
We decided we'd go shopping tomorrow and we'd go to her house after. I was really excited about it. Mainly because I could get a break from my family. So tomorrow couldn't come fast enough.