Sugar Lust

Chapter Six

"How did you even manage to do all this? I was only gone a few days," Emmeline finally managed to squeak out. What else could she say? All the bravado she had acquired during her labor was gone along with the energy she had.

Amy took this as approval and launched into an in-depth explanation of how she had pulled it off. Her words floated over Emmeline's head as she kept saying to herself, Dory-style, keep smiling, just keep smiling. The phone ringing downstairs finally released them from Amy's clutches, and as soon she left, Emmeline wiped her hand across her forehead and mouthed "Phew" to Nicholas.

They settled Millie into her sugary-sweet room. Emmeline tried to remind herself that her mother's intentions were good, even if the execution was severely flawed, as she went through the drawers seeing everything Amy had done. Besides, it wasn't like she could afford to do something special like this for Millie herself.

As the days wore on, she and her daughter settled into an ever-shifting routine of diapers, tears, and feedings. Millie seemed hungrier at night, leaving Emmeline a sleep-deprived zombie. Nicholas ran over to see them every chance he got between school and his shifts at the train station, where he sold tickets and announced arrivals and departures. He brought Emmeline the last few assignments she needed to do before school was over. Nicholas watched Millie as Emmeline took her final exams. Emmeline was pretty sure she passed, which felt like a huge win considering everything happening.

On top of that, her body was healing from the delivery, and her muscles still felt sore and uncomfortable. She was amazed at how different her body looked now that she had given birth compared to before she had been pregnant. Nicholas couldn't help but comment on how much more curvier her hips were and salivated at the two round melons that stood up at attention on her chest.

"Of course, he'd say that," said Ginny, sitting crossed-legged on the floor, playing with Millie in her bouncy chair. Nicholas was working most of the day but did a flyby visit to snuggle with Millie on his lunch. He had been friskier than normal, whispering some words into Emmeline's ear that made her blush.

"I know, but he didn't have to be so graphic about it." Emmeline was still embarrassed.

"Meh, he loves you. I'm sure if you came out of pregnancy flat-chested, he'd love that too." Ginny smiled at Millie. "Your mommy's a pretty girl, just like you!"

Ginny pulled down one of the tiaras and a feather boa and dressed Millie up. Drool hung out of her mouth, and she tried to put the feathers from the boa into her mouth. Emmeline absentmindedly pulled the boa off, her mind wandering to bigger issues. Millie protested, but Ginny started kissing her belly, and Millie forgot about the hot pink feathers. Emmeline smiled, seeing her best friend and baby playing on the nursery floor.

"The big problem isn't finding some alone time with Nicholas, but the fact that I'm powerless," Emmeline said, scrunching up her face. "And powerless is the last thing I can be right now."

"Back to this. You just gave birth two weeks ago. You need to give yourself time."

"Time to do what? I have no idea what I'm supposed to be or what to do. I can't work now—Millie eats about every ten minutes, and I don't even know how I'm supposed to return to school in the fall. I am reliant on everyone for everything. What kind of example is that?" This thought ran through her head a hundred times a day as her new reality settled in. "I felt like I didn't even have the option to tell my mom I hated the nursery. She didn't even ask me what color I'd like it. I had planned for Millie to stay in my room with me. I want her close to me at night, not across the hall."

"Emmeline, you're smart. You'll figure it out."

"I wish you could wave a magic wand and give me some direction. I always thought there would be more time. I should have had a  year of high school extra to decide what I wanted to do before having to turn into an adult. Do you think I'd make a good lawyer?"