Do I look fat in this? Story Of A Insecure Teenager.

'No one's staring at you. No one's staring at you.'  

When I looked up, I noticed people were staring as I walked down the halls of my new high school. With my paranoia, it sure as hell didn't help when I tried to imagine they weren't thinking ill of me.  I could almost hear what they were thinking:

Oh my GOD what is THAT?

She must be boiling with all that fat on her and its seven degrees!

That is the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Want some butter with those rolls miss?

Ignoring the burning in my eyes, I kept walking. God, I was pathetic. I didn't know why I had low self esteem. I had seen a ton of women who by society's standard would be considered 'ugly' or 'fat. Yet they walked with confidence or delight. It killed me inside. I was jealous. Pretty much jealous of anyone who was pretty, slim, or at least thought well of their image. The way I dealt with my problems consisted of looking in the mirror and breaking down in front of it, or punishing myself with a fat tub of vanilla ice cream. Not my best days.

I looked down at my clothes, making sure they were all in place and nothing was showing. I was wearing a leather jacket, black tank top, faded jeans and black boots. Guess you could say I was sort of an Emo. I liked the style and music, just never labelled myself as one. For someone like me, I dressed well. In part I have my mother to thank, she's a model, so whenever she got back from a trip she would bring me designer clothes. If they fit.

I headed up the stairs, aiming towards the principal's office. I stopped outside a door that said teacher's lounge, knocked, and then entered. Multiple teachers stared at me while I walked in, and went through an attached room on the left side. I knocked and then entered when I was told to, and in a rush said, "Hello, I'm a new student. Can I have my schedule?" When he looked at me expectantly I added, "oh yeah my name is Cassie Rivers."

I didn't even take time to notice the middle aged man behind the desk as he rummaged through papers, finally taking one out and handing it to me. "Hello Cassie, I'm the principle, Mr. Jeffry. Glad to welcome you to our school, and good luck on your lessons this year." He smiled warmly at me, which I returned mumbling a thank you and waving goodbye as I walked out, back into the hallway. I glanced down at my schedule, I had maths first, in Mrs. Evers class. The bell rang, and the swarm of students literally surrounding me all headed in different directions, while I realised I had no idea where my teacher's classroom even was.

Flagging down a blonde student walking past, she paused, looking at me, before she snorted and stalked off in the other direction. I was shocked, this just made my self esteem lower, but I shook that thought out of my head. I had class, it was my first day, and it wouldn't make a good first impression if I was late.

Luckily, a boy passed right by me and I shouted, "Excuse me." He turned around, wondering if it was him I was calling for, I made his guess right by walking up to him. "Thanks. Um. I'm new here and I don't know where Mrs. Evers class is..." I trailed off when I looked at him. He was gorgeous! Long chestnut hair covered the left side of his fair skinned forehead, probably making it hard to see out of his jade green eyes, his defined jaw structure made him look even hotter. Did I really just use that word?

I wasn't even paying attention, I noticed his full lips moving but I heard nothing. He must have caught me staring, because he chuckled, making me snap out of my day dream.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I asked, trying to control the blush that was coming on.

He looked at me with clear amusement on his face. Obviously he had a big ego. "I said I have that class, we should probably go, I have no problem with being late, but it's your first day so... Let's go." Grabbing my arm, he dragged me out down the stairs and then rushed to a nearby classroom. I had to admit, I liked the contact, but I made sure not to get too ahead of myself. A boy like him would never be interested in me.