Au Spiderman and Deadpool

Waking up

Deadpool stared at the limp body in his arms in shock, his brain offline.

[Wow, Spidey fainted in our arms. We've got a damsel in distress. Never thought I'd see day.] Yellow commented absentmindedly.

{Yes, well, no wonder that we don't rescue anyone when most people run away screaming.} White rebutted sharply.

[Committing the image to memory. Aannndd, image saved!] Yellow ignored whites' statement.

{That should give us something to fantasize about on a lonely Saturday night.} White said.

[Hey, when do you think Wade'll reboot?] Yellow asked.

{Right about... Now.} And true to form, Wade did.

"Whoa, Spidey fainted in my arms." The red-clad man-child said.

{Really? Is he repeating what we just said?}

"Spidey fainted in our arms." He repeated.

[Yep, he is.] Yellow confirmed.

"Why did he faint?"

[Aww, look at him growing up, he learned to ask questions!] Yellow cooed.

{Truly adorable.} The white box deadpanned.

"Shut up." Wade muttered and surprisingly, they did. He couldn't see what was wrong with Spidey, and unless he wanted to take of his mask, he couldn't tell if he was sick.

Deadpool felt for his temperature and it felt normal. Sure, a bit colder than average, but still not corpse-cold.

It was then that Deadpool saw a trail of blood in his peripheral vision. Following the trail of red, he noticed it led towards the unconscious man. Frantically, he searched Peters' body, leading him to find the wound on his leg.

"It hit an artery! Fuck! Baby boy's gonna... die? No!" Deadpool shouted, shaking Peters body. He felt tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, before he blinked them away. "What do we do? What do I do?"

{Well, I'd say don't panic, but well, you're far beyond that point.}

[Take care of him, dumbass! Make sure he doesn't bleed to death!] Yellow shouted.

"Good idea. Right. Yes. Okay. Take care of him. But how? I'm not going to a hospital. Where to then? Maybe, my apartment? Home sounds good. Home it is then. Yup, okay." Wade babbled on.

[Stop talking and pick him up!]

Wade slapped himself and picked Peter up, bridal style. He jumped over the rooftops and fences on the ground, going full out parkour. He ran as fast as he could without jostling the body in his arms. A few times he jumped over cars.

He ran and ran until he dropped down from a roof and freeing one hand, he opened his window and slipped in. He placed the bleeding man on the bed, after which he tore through his apartment searching for medical supplies. He looked in the kitchen, his bathroom and inspected every piece of furniture. Out of ideas, he came to his bedroom. Finally, he dove under his bed and found a roll of bandages.

Wade was wriggling, trying to get out from under his bed when he heard a noise. Something similar to metal hitting a wooden surface. Curious, he managed to roll out from under his bed. There on the floor was a bullet. Why was it there though? He was pretty sure he secured all of his ammo, so even if an atomic bomb came crashing down on his apartment his ammunition should be safe. He picked it up and on a closer inspection, the mercenary discovered a red liquid covering it. He had an idea about what it was, but he smelled it to be sure. He smelled copper. The liquid was blood, there was no doubt about it. Maybe it fell out of Spideys wound?

He glanced back at the wound, when what he saw made him freeze in shock and drop the bullet he was holding. There was no wound. The flesh has healed and all that was left was a faint scar. Spidey has a healing factor? Since when?

{Since a long time ago, but most writers forget about that fact. It's not on our level, so they forgot about that teeny tiny detail.} White interjected.

[Yeah, funny that. Oh! I just remembered that spider man's strength surpasses that of Thor and it managed to stagger the Hulk! Imagine how the guy holds back. You've got to respect a guy like that. He could easily break people's bones by accident. The willpower man! He's incredible.] Yellow blurted out excitedly, nearly fangirling. Wade couldn't help but agree.

He then heard a groan, as Peter twisted a bit before settling down. The hero seemed unnaturally still for a few minutes. Wade kept gazing at the smooth, exposed flesh in awe. The mercenary frowned in concern as he noticed the lack of any movement on spider-man's part. It creeped him out. Most unconscious people at least seemed to breathe, while Peter didn't. It was eerie, unnatural and Wade couldn't shake the feeling of dread. He leaned over the masked vigilante and pressed his forefinger and middle finger against his neck, trying to find a pulse. He managed to locate the artery and... Nothing. No pulse was to be felt. Nada. A cold, icy feeling enveloped the mercenary's body. Fear. Peter isn't breathing!

Wade fell into a panic, trying to find a pulse, a breath of air, anything. He leaned over the body, trying to find any tell to indicate that his precious little web-crawler was alive. A minute passed in between his frantic searching and minor panic attacks.

Nothing.

Wade's arms fell freely to his sides. All strength left his body, as he slowly fell down, hit head hitting Spider-man's chest.

Nothing.

Deadpool lost it. He lost him. He lost the only thing - person - that made his life remotely worth living for (apart from chimichangas and his guns.)

Nothing.

He slumped down, his head still against the other man's chest. Even his boxes were silent, that was extremely unusual, and it conveyed how serious the situation was for him, for them, for the messed up being called Deadpool. His thoughts became deprecating and the mercenary lost himself to the endless void of sadness. It goes to show how much his life sucked, if the reason his life was worth living was a man that barely tolerated him. Oh, his life was doomed from the start, wasn't it? A soldier who couldn't follow orders, a cancer patient with no chance of survival. That's where it began, didn't it? From then on multiple things happened, including the ugly state of his mug, continuing through his fling with death that ended in permanent immortality,  ending right now with the death of his - current - best friend, and the list goes on and on, with so many timelines  and events and oh god why must I know the truth? Meaning his knowledge of the fourth wall, the included  awareness of the outside world and the special brand of apparent insanity that came along with it. Who was man, that is humanity, to judge what was normal and wasn't? Why did he accomplish what he did, albeit the things he succeeded at were dubious at best.

{Shut up, idiot, otherwise you'll fall into depression. Well, more so than usual at least. So kindly shut your mouth and try to find out how to bring him back you fucking dumbass.}

Oh right, he could try to bargain with death. He reached for one katana from his back and holding it in a reversed grip, Wade took a deep breath. After a second to mentally reassure himself he plunged his blade into his chest.

Or that's what would have happened if not for one small detail.

Blood spurted from chest, yes, but the blade didn't pierce his heart. As a matter of fact, it was far from puncturing either one of his lungs. Looking down, he noticed the one crucial detail; a gloved hand holding his wrist, red fingers with blue accents wrapped around the circumference of his arm. Wait gloved? Red and blue? What the hell...

"Spidey?!"

[Baby boy?!]

{What the bloody fu...}