Chasing the Dragon

II

I somehow end up quite clear headed the next day. The fact even surprises me, as I haven't understood so well what's happening around me for a while now.

When I look around I find out that I'm the only person in the huge pile of white bedsheets and pillows of the same color. It's a bit saddening, but it's not like waking up alone is unusual for me - after all Sebastian leaves for his part time job most of the mornings - it's just that I would've loved to share one of my brighter days with him.

Sebastian works at a coffee shop half a day, four days a week and that makes the said man at least more responsible than I am, even if he doesn't look like it. Why he works there though, is completely beyond me, as Sebastian makes more than enough money by selling drugs. I'm tormented by my curiosity over this matter every day, but he has never told me the reason for it and I've never asked about it either.

I used to work a while back as well. At first my parent's inheritance was enough to take care of my expensive hobby, but soon - after aunt Angelina found out about the addiction - it got cut off and I had to find a job. But along with my worsening addiction, my social skills went to shit as well and I would get extremely nervous whenever someone tried to talk to me - the fact that I worked in retail really didn't help - and eventually I started getting this random outbursts of anger if someone as much as touched my while going past. After me and Sebastian became a couple and he started taking less and less money from me to pay for the drugs, so I quit my job. I wasn't able to do it in the most gracious way either since that day I was only able to meet my dear friend Molly in the afternoon.

I ponder for a moment if I would go outside now - as I haven't left the apartment for the last few months - if my social skills would have impaired even further of if somehow the opposite happened. Probably the former though.

When I hear something rattling in the kitchen, I find myself to be not as alone as I thought to be. I decide to get out of the bed and investigate the source of the noise, but without even doing so I probably know what it is - Sebastian preparing the breakfast for both of us. Or maybe even lunch I'm not entirely sure what time it is right now.

I finally force myself to turn my head and check the time in one of the ten clocks we for some reason own, even if we have no use for them. It's 12:24 a.m. I stare at the little device trying to figure out if my eyes aren't deceiving me, it wouldn't be the first time that they did so. But no, no mater how hard I try to see how the said clock is messing with me, I find that it's showing the true hours. I'm a little shocked by this, I have no idea how I've managed to get up so early by myself.

It takes a lot of tries until I make it out of bed, and by the time I do, the rattling has already quieted and now became more of a sizzling sound. When I'm in front of the mirror I notice that I'm only wearing a black pajama top. It's certainly not mine and it's oversized enough to let me conclude that it belongs to Sebastian. I'm too lazy to change into anything decent and end up leaving the room just like that.

When I enter the kitchen Sebastian, just as I predicted, is preparing breakfast. Ironically back when I first came here he was a terrible cook, just as myself, because he really didn't spend that much time in his small apartment and mostly ate in restaurants or just got a take out. We kept this practice alive for a while, until I had my first complete breakdown and we started leaving the apartment less and less.

"So how did the young master sleep today?" He asks. I can see a slight smile playing on his lips and for a fleeting moment think about what it could mean, until I catch myself doing so. I'm just being ridiculous, Sebastian's always smiling.

"A lot better after you left the bed, why thank you." I reply and lean into a wall. Sebastian isn't any more dressed up than I am, he's wearing black pajama pants, and by the looks of it, the piece of clothing on him and the garment that I am wearing make a complect. I watch him bake scrambled eggs and at that moment i wonder how he looks nothing like a drug addict or a dealer. Maybe he doesn't look like a drug addict because the said man is nowhere near being a junkie, and I'm not aware if he ever was one. And maybe he doesn't look like a drug dealer because people who portray them usually haven't ever dealt with one hence resulting in an image so very different from the truth.

Sebastian turns off the stove and goes to take two plates from cabinet right next to it. In few minutes he's going to put them on our glass coffee table and stare at me as I eat. He always acts that way while saying things like "If I leave you on your own you're just going to forget to eat." And I won't lie, I'd forget. I always do, even if my head is clear like today, but I still hate being babied.

I go to the bathroom, dying to take a piss and maybe slip a little something into my sleeve, to have it ready when my mind will start going blank or I'll get extremely nervous, yet when I check the mirror cabinet it's empty.

Fuck. I forgot that Sebastian decided to hide the drugs from me. Now I'll have to wait until he leaves for work and search the whole place. It's not the greatest task to do, as by looking for it, I'll only get more tired and crave a bigger high that the little bit I'll find could provide.

This situation leaves me with no other choice but to get back into the lounge, and so I proceed with that plan. Once I'm back, I notice that on the glass coffee table there's not only two plates, but also two identical mugs. When I get closer I find that the steaming hot liquid in mine is my beloved Earl Grey tea and black coffee in Sebastian's. The said man is already sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for me to sit down, so I flop down next to him and start eating. The food tastes really good and this causes me to ponder when was the last time I could truly taste the food that I was eating. Probably few weeks ago since I remember having a better day somewhere around that time as well.

We continue to eat in silence until Sebastian speaks. "I think it's enough." He states.

"What's enough?" I inquire, sipping my now only warm tea.

"You drugging yourself this much. Until you're completely clean I'll give you small doses that the withdrawal wouldn't be so bad, but that's the most you're going to get." I can feel Sebastian's eyes boring into me and I don't think I'll be able to stay under such an intense stare for long. My body begins itching all over, my palms are now wet from cold sweat and I can practically feel my brain shutting down.

"As if you'd do that." I snort, trying to hide my discomfort. That little something to calm down my nerves would be very useful right about now,

"I already did. There's not a single pill left in this apartment, you can search all you want." He speaks picking up my and his, now empty, plates and carrying them off to the kitchen. "Anyway, today I will be working in the afternoon so try to behave until I come back." He adds and once those words leave his mouth he enters the kitchen and I can hear the sound of plates clashing. He must have put them in the sink.

Sebastian disappears into the bedroom and I don't see him until he emerges fully clothed in black dress shirt and black skinny jeans. His hair looks messy, but falls perfectly against his pale face complexion. He proceeds my way, while wearing this seductive smirk on his lips. Fuck him and his overconfidence.

I decide to ignore him, hence I turn around searching for the TV remote. Once I find it, I turn the electronic device on and glue my eyes to the screen. I go through the channels expecting to find something decent, yet the best I can find is some kind of lame cooking show. I wonder why did I even try, it's the middle of a work day for fuck's sake.

"You're heartless, you know that?" Sebastian mutters behind me, his voice sounds as if he's given up on life, but I can tell that it's only one of his many plays. Soon I can feel slender, soft fingers gently brushing against my neck.

"That makes me exactly like you, doesn't it?" I retort and turn the volume up.

Sebastian's fingers travel up my neck and start playing with my tangles strands of hair, With his touch he lures my head into turning to face him and once I do his fingers slide from my hair onto my lips. His thumb forces open my lips and I playfully bite it. The smirk on his lips grows even bigger and soon my mouth is left agape, his fingers start pulling up my chin and his face is coming closer and closer to mine. Only seconds later his teeth are nibbling my lips. This sweet torment ends once his tongue enters my mouth and starts a passionate dance. It continues until we can no longer breathe and Sebastian pulls away. I'm left gasping for air, trying to fill my lungs with oxygen, but when I look at Sebastian, he has already regained his composure and is only slightly huffing. It's so fucking unfair.

"Don't miss me too hard." He says and leaves me still lost in the sweet and intoxicating sensation of his tongue exploring my mouth.