social outcast

( ignore any misspellings or lower case letters. I'm doing this on my phone so it's kinda hard)

Ch.1

      It was a sad day just like the rest. I sat in bed not wanting to get up to get ready for school. Going to school was terrible. I hated the people because they always hated me. my only friend was my English teacher, who was a 27 year old lady who understood what I went through. She was the only one I could really open up to. my parents didn't even understand...

     I slowly got out of bed, slipped on a pair of jeans and a pierce the Vail t shirt. I really didn't care anymore about my appearence. I put my hair in a bun and went down stairs for breakfast.

      "morning mom. where's dad?" I asked.

     my mom looked tired, like something was wrong.

     " oh he's at a meeting. he'll be back in time to pick you up from your therapy though." she responded, still, with a tired look in her eye.

     I arrived at school and walked through the doors...

constant stares from people bugged me but I kept going. I'm not considered pretty so people say I'm ugly and I have started to believe it.

     my first class was geometry which goes by so slow because I suck at math. especially in high school when my depression got worse. my next class was English which I was happy about. I loved Mrs. Kenny and she was the only person who was nice to me.

     after English, I had lunch. I got bullied so much that I would either eat in Mrs. kennys room or the bathroom. today I decided to eat with Mrs. Kenny.

     "hello Terri. are you eating here today?" Mrs. Kenny said with a smile.

     "yes. I can't stand eating in the bathroom anymore. it ruins my appetite." I said.

     for a while I talked to her about how my mom seemed as if something was wrong this morning. she has had some job issues and I'm not sure if maybe that had something to do with it.

     I ended up not eating because I didn't want to have to throw up again. it was too much of a pain.

     after school ended, I walked to my therapy session. I didn't like going because I didn't like opening up to people about my feelings because it was just too hard. the adults there pretend to care but they are getting paid so I doubt it. when we sat down we all said our names in case there was a new patient with us. everyone shared their feelings from the day and if they were feeling better or not. when it was my turn, I lied and said I was fine.

     we then did a activity where we wrote down everything that we were thankful for. my list on my had one thing down... Mrs. Kenny.

     Mrs. Kenny was my rock. I was so glad to have her but next year I will be graduating and going to college and I can't imagine life without her. once everyone wrote them down, we  put them in a bowl. as one of the adults chose a list and read it, whose ever it was, was dismissed. of course mine was chosen last. instead of letting me go, they had me stay late to talk.

     " I've noticed you've been keeping to yourself lately. are you sure you're doing okay?" Richard asked.

     " yes. I'm just tired. "

     I knew therapy was supposed to help people but it just made me feel worse and remind me of my problems. I knew I was over weight and I knew I had a shitty home life. I didn't need to be reminded twice a week.

    

     I waited outside of the building for my dad to come. he usually wasn't this late so I got worried. I text him and asked him when he would get here. as I was waiting I saw a boy walking around on the sidewalk. he looked around my age. he was a cute boy. I caught him looking at me and we locked eyes for a few seconds. I suddenly became aware of my appearance and got very embarrassed. the boy kept looking at me. I assumed he was judging my love handles or huge thighs so I felt insecure. the boy then came up to me. I was scared so I pretended to not notice. he tapped my shoulder. I turned around.

     " hello. my name's Christopher. "

     I wasn't quite sure what to say so I sort of stuttered.

     " umm.. hi.. I'm.. uh. Terri."

     " Well Terri, you looked lonely,so well, here I am!" he said with a small chuckle.

    " oh. " I forced a smile.

     " hey. you look familiar."

     now that I thought about it, I think I remembered him from school. he was in my math class. he would sit in the back and play with his phone and I sat in the front so I never paid much attention to him.

     " oh yes. you are in my math class. Mr. Henry right?"

     he nodded. "oh yeah!! you're that girl who always has her eyes glued to the board. I barely ever pay attention."

     I already knew that but I didn't say anything.

     " Why don't you feel the need to put an effort into your classes?" I asked him. it seemed like he didn't put much effort into his looks either. he was hot, but in an effortless way. with his hazel eyes and dirty blonde hair, he looked good all the time. this was the first time I've really taken the time to notice a boy.

     " I do not know. I guess I'm just too smart for the slow pased lessons." he said.

     " well you're lucky because I get the worst grades in math."

     " maybe I could tutor you?"

     " I'm not sure... I barely know you"

     " here... get to know me."

he handed me a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. he was writing something down. there were numbers.

     " call or text me sometime." Christopher said.

     I didn't have time to say anything because my dad pulled up. that was my cue to go. I stepped into my dad's rental car and shut the door. I was thinking about Chris so much that it took Me a while to notice my dad's sad eyes.