social outcast

Ch. 2

My dad didn't say anything. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I felt like he was hiding something from me but I didn't want to say it so straight forward. then I remembered mom telling me about how he had a meeting.

     "how'd your meeting go?" I asked him.

     he left out a long breath of air. it fogged up since it was freezing out.

     " honey, I'm sorry about all this work crap... but I no longer have my job." he said casually but looked like he had met someone down.

     " what!??!!" I was so surprised and angry and confused. there were so many emotions going through my head at the moment.

     My dad just nodded. we didn't talk for the rest of the way home.

     " mom! we're home!" I called out.

" does she know about your job?" I asked dad.

     " yeah. she's known all morning."

      so that's why she looked so sad and tired this morning. she had me worried. but now I was even more worried with my dad's job. we already have been jumping around from apartment to apartment and couldn't afford a car. I got my clothes from the salvation army which was terrible because they didn't have any size that was flattering for my huge body. I hated ny appearence. I liked my turquoise eyes and long black hair, but it didn't compliment my huge rolls and thunder thighs very much at all.

    as I layed in bed, I thought about what would happen to us. maybe we would become homeless. I'm not sure but what ever was going to happen was not going to be good.

     I then remembered Christopher from the outside of the therapy center. I wonder why he was there. he probably lived in the neighborhood next to it though. that neighborhood had huge houses so I assumed he was rich. I texted him...

hey it's Terri.. the gurl from the therapy building.

I was scared for a response. as I was waiting for my phone to go off, I fell asleep.

     it was Thursday. one more day until my next therapy session. I had therapy on Wednesdays and Fridays and a doctor's appointment on Mondays for my anorexia. I got out of bed and checked my phone.

no new messages

     I felt cheated. why didn't he repsond?

     I got changed into sweatpants and a baggy blue crop top that I made with some spare material from sewing club. I quit but I kept my extra fabric. I decided to braid my hair today into a French fish tale. I slipped on my raincoat and old guy boot looking things and went down stairs. no one talked. my dad was of course home and my mom still in bed. my dad sat on our couch watching our tiny tv on the weather channel. it was calling for rain. great. I have to walk through that.

     I had no breakfast. I head off for school. I walked through the rain and got my hair soaking wet. I didn't own an umbrella and I couldn't get a ride because my mom was going to the hallmark store to get Christmas cards.

     as I was walking, I saw this car that was driving slow and came to a hault at the curb. I looked in to see who it was. it was Chris.

     " Terri! what are you doing walking through this rain!?"

     " I don't have a car." I replied.

     " well hop in! I'll take you." 

     when I got in I saw his phone on this lap.

     " why didn't you respond to my text last night?" I found my self asking.

     " oh.. I'm sorry. I wasn't sure what to say so I just figured I'd think of something later, but I got nervous."

     him? nervous? is this a joke!? the boy who came up to a fat stranger is nervous? Okay maybe he's the next who needs therapy now.

     all I ended up saying was, "oh."

     we arrived at school. we had math first again. yay...  we did partner work. Chris came up to me. he had a few people come up to him but he rejected them for me... it made me feel good but confused. how could someone choose me over a pretty girl who was skinny and had long curly blonde hair? 

     I was so confused with the project so he did most of the work.

     " hey why don't you take study hall will me next period and we can work on this math stuff." 

     I nodded.

     truth is, I was scared. I never feel this tense around guys. I think I was starting to... like him.

     after I made a quick stop to my locker, I met Chris in the library where study hall took place. he had some books with him for math. we sat down at an empty table in the back. at first we were talking about geometry and crap but then abruptly got off topic when Chris asked me a question.

     "why were you standing in front of the therapy building?" he asked me looking concerned.

     " oh it's sort of a long story.. I... uhh.. just never mind." I tried my best to avoid talking about it because it always made me break down.

     " I've got time."  Chris said.

     " okay well I need to know that I can trust you first. tell me one if your deepest secrets and I'll explain mine."  I discovered myself saying.

     " Okay well about 7 years ago when I was around 9, my mother died. I was too young to really understand but I later found out how she died. she killed herself.  so yeah sorry to get all depressing but I hope that's good enough for you to trust me. "

     I was so shocked. I thought it was going to be something stupid like he still slept with this blankie. I didn't think it would be that serious. I was also shocked that he would tell me that. we've only been been talking for 2 days..