The next few weeks leading up to the first date of tour breezed by fast. I finally had the ability to learn and understand the choreography for my individual part, as well as the last dance break. Marc finally took each group down to a vacant arena to practice and add in theatrics to spice up the performance.
I found out that I'd be coming out after the breakdancers' set during Where Are U Now, about a minute into the song. I'd be running in from the side of the stage to a certain spot. From there, I'd begin my individual part with a few other guys. It wasn't as cool as popping out from under the stage like the breakdancers did for their intro, but I was totally fine with it.
We were introduced to our set costumes, an all white attire that would either be a hoodie, a sleeveless top, or a jacket accompanied with a shirt. The loose white pants were a little too loose, but with the help of a tailor, I got it to fit me perfectly. The costume hung in plastic wrap with name scribbled on it with black sharpie.
With everything happening at once, it made me forget about Justin. Although he was brought up every single day, the kiss basically wore off me. We hadn't talked ever since, and even though I could always sense him looking at me, I never paid him any mind.
Our awkward encounters were limited because I always managed to immediately leave the studio as soon as practice was over. As long as I didn't wander and hang around the places that he was, there were no problems. I coped with him for over three weeks.
I had no problem admitting that I still replayed our kiss in my mind daily. It was all I thought about when I thought about him. It was weird, and even though it was bugging me, I managed to never tell anyone. Not even Karina. It was too weird to understand, and why go through people doubting me and calling me a liar?
Ever since Justin tried to kiss me, he'd grown cuter and cuter. I noticed more things about him from afar, like how he would always cave his bottom lip under his top lip. I also noticed that he loved the studio cafe's baked chips, because he'd always ask somebody to go and buy him some. The fact that I was beginning to find him adorable was aggravating.
Even being around him gave me arousing thoughts, thoughts that would just make me angry. It made me ask myself, how do you just randomly kiss someone and then never talk to them again, with no explanation? It was fucking weird, especially because he was straight. With all of the exposure he's had over the past years of fame, he'd never had a boyfriend, or even a simple relationship with a guy. It was all girls. I'd never heard about doing something similar to this shenanigan before, and I would've never expected it to be real if it wasn't me.
The head director ordered for everyone, from dancers to coaches to assistants to equipment managers to the star himself to meet up at the arena to stage a "live rehearsal". We'd piece the whole performance together, including each and every song and dance break, for film to watch and tweak mistakes. Marc told me that Justin would supposedly be singing inside of a glass box for the intro of the performance, and I was excited to see that in action. I was excited to see everything, honestly, because the only choreography I'd seen yet was the one or my own set, Where Are U Now. I was ready to see Grace's.
Live rehearsals would apparently be a very tight, and criticism for each mistake would be very picky. Justin was allowed to save his singing voice for the actual tour to avoid any malfunctions. Basically, he could speak the lyrics while doing the choreography for now, and whenever there was no choreography, he could just skip it.
I arrived with Grace, Omar, and David that day. We were told to get into our set costumes and get ready to perform as if we were "actually on tour".
