T R A U M A

24 4 13
                                    

Everyone notices you.

But you're drowning in your sorrow,

Too blind to notice.

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I sat in my oversize bathtub with a blunt filled of cannabis and a glass of bourbon.

My mind was hazy as unwanted memories replayed in my head.

It seemed that my family started to fall apart when I was seven.

That's the first time dad came home smelling like dollar store strawberry and the first time he laid hand on mom.

Yet that's not the worst part of my royally fucked up life.

It was when I was ten.

Even though my father went out with other women and beat my mother he was still my dad.

He would help me and my older brother with our homework.

He never misses one of my karate competitions or Mattes football games.

He would always tell me. I'm a pretty girl. Don't ever let a man put his hands on me and get away with it.

It was ironic since he abused my mom frequently.

Maybe it was his way of saying he didn't want me to end up like her.

After all I was daddy's little princess.

He'd tell my brother to always protect me and to fight for what he wanted.

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