What's Meant To Be

& so it begins...

A horn sounded and I glanced over. Finally! Kelsie was loading her books into her trunk.

"Houston, we have a problem!" I joked from my cracked window.

"Oh lord," Kelsie stated as she climbed into my passenger seat. "Let's ride. Chase has to work today anyways."

I hesitated to put the vehicle in reverse.. "What?" she asked.

"Jake is expecting me.." I said.

"Oh.. Well, we can talk later?" she frowned as she opened the door.

"No, wait!" I shouted, "that's kind of what I need to talk to you about..." I trailed off as her eyes caught mine.

"Oh." she said, her eyes admitting her confusion. "Everything okay?"

"I really don't know, Kels."

"Well, talk. What is it?" She asked.

"Okay...." I began to tell her all about the thoughts that corrupted my mind... I continued, "Maybe Jake isn't such a great guy after all. Maybe my mom is right. Maybe it is 'puppy love' & he's not the right guy for me.. And to top it all off, Bryce sat next to me, and I just couldn't stop staring at him!"

"Wait, what'd you just say? Bryce???" She gave me a look.

"Yeah, I let him cheat off of me so he wouldn't fail. & I gave him a pencil... When we turned our tests in, I caught myself staring at him and day dreaming!"

Kelsie comforted me as she asked questions. She knew I was completely freaked out!

"Do you still get excited to see Jake? Like hang out?" Kelsie asked me.

I was afraid to admit the answer. "Not really".

Gosh, why was this so hard to admit?! If he was such a bad guy, why was I still with him? Wasn't I smarter than that?!

"Do y'all still have relations.. ya know.. touchy feely?" Kelsie asked as I snapped back from my own questions.

"Honestly, Kels. Yeah, he was my first, but I was 14 and dumb. I wish I hadn't. It just doesn't mean anything when it does happen and it's never been very frequent... Or good, for that matter."

"Ahhh. So, what do you mean by not very frequent?" Kelsie asked.

"I mean that he can't get his head out of his damn video games long enough to even look at me, much less anything else!" I huffed.

"So, what're we talking here? Once a week? Once a month? How often?!" Kelsie curiously persisted.

"MAYBE once every three months, Kels. Now, I'm not saying I'm the best, but I mean come on! I'm an attractive girl, right?" I asked.

"DUH!" She screamed.

Of course.. Now he's got me feeling insecure and self-conscious. Another reason my mom says she doesn't like him. How could I not see all of this until now?!

"Maybe you're not happy" Kelsie broke the silence.

Maybe just maybe, she might be right.