Love... It's a dangerous game to play... Hearts are made for breaking and pain... Everyone I know is in love except... Me... I never had experienced it... I know how to sweet talk but... Not... Actually... Love... My 4 well maybe 3... Tease me with a few boys... They do little ship names...
Like; Tristan x Caelyn = Trisalyn Spencer x Caelyn = Spencelyn Ticci Toby X Caelyn = Taelyn And finally my best friend who I knew for quite a long time since I was in preschool was Gavin; Gavin x Caelyn = Gaelyn... Or Cavin...
I know... My friends are weird... But I'm used to it... I just feel a warm sensation on my cheeks but I know what it means it's called 'blushing' to be exact.
But the weird thing is my stomach is acting weirdly when I hear me and Gavin... About Cavin or Gaelyn... I feel something weird in my stomach... And well... that is butterflies... The feeling feels weird but sometimes I like it!
plus my heart is always beating fast when I see him or talk to him I get the blush, Heart beating, sweat palming thing.... It feels... Ok but it's amazing but weird! Plus my legs feel like jelly/ noodles... 😳😖
I don't know what to do... And well if he sees this message... Gavin, What's going on with me...?!
But every time I see, Gavin... I have the urge and just want to go up and kiss his rosy, soft looking lips... But... Why?
(Now I am thinking of straddling him... Why...?!! Plus the cuddling and hold me close...)oh boi... but. Anyway back to the 'I don't believe in love' thing Uhmm.
Well I don't believe it because I never had been in love and I, Caelyn Isabella Boyer... Told, Gavin Georgiou... To teach me how to love... Yea I know 'CRAZY' but I had to! Because I need to know! I'm curious! I've read it in books but not in real life experience...
So yep but I still don't believe in it! And plus if I was with a guy ( Not you, Gavin...) I know I'll break up with a guy the next minute! Because;
1) I am ugly as Fuck! (Sorry about my language young ones!) 2) I am way too depressed! 3) He will hate me like all other guys! (Plus the girls!) 4) Stab me in the back! 5) Another girl catch his eye then likes her about her features... (It's burns ladies I know, I know) 6) I'll shut him out because I'm afraid... (It's something I keep a secret from people SO DUNT ASK!! 😑😑😑😑😑 Imma watching chu) 7) Doesn't trust me... 8) He'll cheat. 9) He'll never, EVER love me... (Again! Don't ask... Long story can't tell you personal family life stuffs...). 10) Leave me, Ditch me, hurt me, and worst of all ABUSE ME!! (Jk if that happens I'll be like... ' Stab me, Stab me, stab me....' ('why?' you ask? talk to me on conversations and I'll tell you...)
There is the reasons I am afraid and don't believe in it! and there is much more... But I can't tell you guys 'ALL' of it really.
But anyway I'll tell you guys more later for the next part! Baiiiiii!!!~ ;)
- Caelyn
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