Finding Letters

Chapter Three ~ The Devil and The Educator

Finding Letters

Chapter Three:🌸 The Devil and The Educator🌸

🌸The Devil and The Educator🌸

So this is my third letter and ironically I'm pretty sure you were the person who taught me how to count to three. I say think because my memory doesn't go back that far -it was either you or my parents.

Now in case you're getting excited here, don't. No offence or anything but I don't really plan on giving you a thank you -partly because you're on the other side of Australia and partly because I never liked you anyway.

Look, if you're reading this, don't take it personally; I just don't take well to having some one sit me down and say 'learning is fun and fun is learning' -for all I care, you can get onto your knees and suck my invisible dick. Aren't you glad you made sure I had a wide range of vocabulary now? But anyway, this isn't actually directed at one person, it's just directed in the general area of teachers.

Now for you teachers out there, keep doing the fine job which gives me the fine life lesson of learning to hate. It's a job well done so keep up the good work!

Now for those of you who know me out of Wattpad, you'll know that my Dad is a teacher. Haha, that's a little awkward huh? So Dad (if you just happen to ever read this) you should be glad you never taught me at school because otherwise I probably would have run away from home by now.

But just in case you're sitting behind your computer screen tutting away like the teachers do in class, then I want you to know something. I'm not anti-teachers or anti-learning, I'm just not a big fan of being stuck in a classroom for 6 hours for five days a week (my heart bleeds for people who have to go for 6 days -don't worry, it's ok to cry after going through that torture) listening to the same lecture about not swallowing gum because that's bad for you and its better to be caught with gum then swallow it and get out of trouble over 500 times. So why don't you listen, I hear you ask? Then you wouldn't have to listen to it more then once right? No. Because there are 30 people in my class and if one person does it, then of course all the other 29 people need to suffer. Logic? I think not.

May I just point out that there wouldn't be a problem in the first place if you just let us have gum in school.

Yeah, think about that next time you think about giving the dreaded lecture again.

Oh and just in case you're a teacher and you're reading this, hats off to you for educating the community about gum. Seriously, a job well done because I swear on all that is gum, I shall never swallow a piece of gum again -that is, until I come face to face with the library teacher but I'll try just for you ok? Unless you are the library teacher -then hopefully, you'll never have to find out that I had gum.

Hopefully.

Now I'm not saying I've never had a great teacher before because I have, definitely. I'm honestly just not a very patient or forgiving person and being stuck with someone for a whole year is like looking after my five year old cousin (the one who called me fat last week) for 3 months.

Don't get me wrong, I love Finn (yes, that's his real name) but I haven't eaten for a week now and my temper is on its last leg. But the point is, I have had good teachers before and I'd like to think its had a positive effect on me but then again I've also had bad teachers (yes Mr Glasses, I'm talking about you here -whistling at a kid because they have glasses like you, is not ok) and I'm not really sure how that's effected me.

Probably not the best in my opinion.

Probably some of the most memorable moments with teachers is when I was in year one and we were silent reading these little year one books -or we were meant to be- but my friend was trying to talk to me and I told her to shh because I liked unicorns and the book was about unicorns. Pretty much, don't interrupt my unicorn time, alright? Anyway, the teacher -let's call you Ms Rey- yelled at me for talking in silent reading time and when I opened my mouth to explain what actually happened she yelled at me for talking back and I got a time out.

If that doesn't give you a bad view on teachers from an early age, then stop reading this and walk away. Come back later when you've thought about your views on teachers and bad experiences.

Another one of my favourite experiences was the time when I was lucky enough to get Ms Bitch -haha, no, unfortunately that wasn't her real name- for a whole year. I gave up on her about the time she gave me detention because some boy threw a book at me. The only reason I threw it back was for self defence; she's obviously anti-feminist or something.

And there was also that time when I got a detention with my best friend (remember Aubrey from my last letter?) because we ripped up a stress ball; now those things are so you can take out your stress on them -we just did exactly what they were designed for. But anyway we did it on a school bus and our two friends -let's call them asshole #1 and asshole #2- decided it would be a good idea to put the stress ball all over the bus. Good one assholes. But then again, it wasn't too bad because they got detention with us.

Anyway point is, the list goes on so long that if it was a grain of sand, I could probably bury every teacher in the world and make sure all of the beaches still had sand. Bliss.

So despite all of that, I've still had good memories with teachers and I honestly believe that they are seriously helping the community -no bull. Anyway I would give you some examples of those memories but I have a headache at the moment and to go that far back in my memories would be a huge effort and I can't be bothered. Sorry.

I have actually had some good memories with you though so seriously, thanks for giving me a start in life -gum or no gum- but to be honest, that wasn't the point of this letter.

So what was it then I hear you ask? The point of this letter was to tell you to sit down and prepare yourself because I have some earth-shattering news for you.

My Dad's a better teacher then you because he let's me have gum.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.