Chapter 1
_____________________The happiest yet saddest part of high school is when your principal announces your graduating class.
Everybody is excited to start their new chapter in life, and crying because their gonna miss their old life. Everybody got it figured out, college, parties, dorms even the people who aren't going to college. Well mostly everybody. People like me were dreading graduation, hoping the time went slower.
I didn't know what I wanted to do, being completely honest I didn't know if i wanted to go to college. If I did go to college then the question was where? My parents were every ordinary family two hard working parents. My parents have a whole wall dedicated of their diplomas and certificates including my siblings. Both of my brothers studied in medical where areas my parents studied in Criminal Justice. So since birth there's has been this pressure on me to do something with my life, do something good, useful. Now I'm stuck in a position where I tell my parents that I have no plans on proceeding with school or to pursue something that I'm probably gonna hate. What I hate is that I choose neither of those decisions.
That morning was such a blur, next thing you know my name is being called and I'm shaking my principles hand, who I've only talked to like five times out the four years I've been in this school. High School is the worst, every little thing you do is gonna reflect back to you once you leave highschool. Then again highschoolers are a bunch of raging, hormonal teens they are bound to fuck up in anyway. Then you spend all this time of lost sleeps and exams for an rolled up paper and a hand shake with a principal you never see. It's a joke.
My attitude towards the rest of the graduation ceremony was bland, I didn't enjoy not a second of it and the throwing of the capes is just abunch of lice flying and spreading around. The rest of graduating class stood up and left to meet their relatives. What seemed like forever i had found my family.
"Sydney, congratulations!" My mother embraced in a large hug where she left tear marks on gown.
"Good job kiddo." My dad kissed my forehead and draped his arm over my shoulder. "How do you feel now that you have graduated?"
"The same, its only graduation." I replied as honest as I could be.
"Only graduation? Come one Sydney this is when you need to be the happiest." My Oldest brother Eric loves trying to convince of things we both clearly to agree on.
"Come on Eric you know Sydney isn't public things like this." My second oldest brother Matthew had understood me the most. Hes right. I don't like Ceremonies, or gatherings, and school was all about that. When I was in second grade I remember begging my parents to let me be home school just so i could get out the spring concert. I spent that entire day crying even crying on stage. I made sure everybody knew i was being abused and forced to sing about a frog who jumps on lily-pads. Then I once told my third grade teacher my mom was feeding me dog food just so i can have lunch with the teacher and not in the cafteria. That only resulted was a call to DSS and a house invaded by investigators. I was an intense child.
"No, thank you mom but we can just go home and dad can throw some thing in the grill and call it a night." I take off my cap and gown and hand it to one of my brothers.
"If they what's you want." My mom gives a tight smile and just wrap my arm with hers as we head to the car.
My family and I set up a barbecue, blew up some balloons and bought a Walmart sheet cake and bam it was a party.
"Do you know what you wanna do? Now that you have graduated and all." My oldest brother Eric asked me.
I shrugged my shoulders, "honestly I don't. But don't tell mom and dad but I'm stuck I don't know if I wanna continue this."