When you think that life cannot be awesome than that,it gets another turn and everything fades away.
That's life,dear!
A story about illusion and trust, dreams and lies!
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I let go everything and jumped out from my mind.Bearing your own mind when somebody accuses you is the worst and most impossible mission,so i simply gave up. My head was empty while being still in air(it lasted only few seconds,but for me it was an eternity,bad always takes more time) and i just smiled and fell into water.
* * *
i woke up,was reborn.Incredibly no deep scars,tried to crawl to the shore.Fortunately or not it was night,stars and Moon,perfect landscape to be alone and meditate. I had a dream,or a vision, i gave a knife to Estella,the sign of our friendship and she just stabbed it in my body with a vile laugh saying 'I love you,dear''. Isn't friendship literally just as the knife???! You give them the priciest.... Dreams, hopes, people,secrets and in the end they choose to murder you with the loveliest words on planet ''I LOVE YOU''
I have decided to not go back in Norway, and home. The jump made me realize i am a punishment for people i love,they see in me an enemy,but this is not what i've ever wanted :(
My family will have to deal with pain and loss,but i had to change myself and views. I will leave as soon as possible Japan,,with a ship, to America and my American dream. Japan brought me another way to my dreams which became my hell.
