When you think that life cannot be awesome than that,it gets another turn and everything fades away.
That's life,dear!
A story about illusion and trust, dreams and lies!
Yes,right, how could i forget my family? Alexandra,you're so selfish!!! I pick up the phone very fast,trying to sound happy,i was but not as it should be:
-Heeeey fam',guys,i'm sorry for not calling,but the flight was even more exhausting as it is usually...
-Dear,don't worry,we believe you,just wanted to say that love you...and..how is Japan?
-Mom,it's perfect,people are hospitable, soon me and Estella want to go at the beach, we deserve a bit of relax,right? :D
-Sure,hun'.Okay go,hugs and call daily,we need you!!Bisouuus
I have decided to go outside alone and make a walk, me and my mind.It was a sunny Friday ,everybody was smiling at me because it was more than obvious that i am a foreigner. The wind was blowing like he hurried to get in time somewhere, even it had some obligations while i was walking in an unknown direction.I have never thought that i will see Japan,never was a huge fan of their culture,but i liked one thing,THEY WERE SMILING.Yes! Like real human beings.Being friendly is hard,your eyes betray you even if you try really hard.I could clearly see modesty and kindness in their small eyes,it's a rare thing.
No,i won't tell you what was going inside my head.It is not the right moment, and anyways, you'd get tired and exhausted of my eternal thoughts.....
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The sand got deep into my skin,like perfume of endless love.You know what i like the most at sea??
I adore the days when she's troubled,like you can feel her worrying about something,i like those stormy days with strong wind and black sky,i feel safer,what can give me sea when she's calmed?NOTHING, while grey days give me hope and strength that everything is going to be fine because i can see it struggling to get back peace.People don't understand its state,but i do,i want to become a part of it, a drop of water,a a trickle of sand...a piece of everything.
I had a long walk,about 2 hours,but i really wanted it never to end.I felt like i had spent my time with an old friend which understands me by my silence and footprints.I didn't want to go back at hotel,but it was almost 18:00,dinner time,and i didn't want to make Estella worry that's why i turned back to my 'homeplace'
What if i could leave her in this hotel and go alone in direction where my eyes can see?
-Nooo,Alexandra,you're not a good friend *talking with myself* But i want to be alone, enjoy my loneliness.It was hard for me to make friends,i even wonder how did she get so close to me.
***
What if i could turn into a bird and fly away?
But where? I don't belong anywhere, and i don't deserve to be a bird,this is divine,while i am a sinner,one of those who won't clean their souls,NO, NEVER!!!
What if i could take the last breath now and then fade away?
What if i could spend whole my life being invisible and hugging sad people?
What if i could change,but really change this world?
I want people to scream my name after i die,i want them to smile when they hear my name.I want.....i want to be what i want,NOT WHAT OTHERS SAY :(
