A Mindless Murder

Chapter 14 (intro)

Carlen's POV

I woke up on Rays bare chest. Praying to God I didn't make any kind of mistake last night. He was still sound asleep. I lift my head slowly off of his chest, softly stroking the small scar in the middle of his chest. I watched how calmly he was breathing, how fragile he looked, almost like a baby. At this moment I didn't want anything to hurt him, not Cameron or any of these other boys. Then I realize, he just like the rest of them. Money hungry, cold hearted, and a killer. I began to look at him in disgust, just hurt that someone so sweet is hiding in blood. Someone else's blood, and would be willing to do it again. It was almost as if I wanted him and hated him at the same time. I wanted him to be safe, but I also wanted him to suffer. Suffer for putting my friends and I into a life threatening situation, leaving us to fend for ourselves because our lives didn't matter. Ray killed the man in the room with no hesitation. How long before he feels the need to stuff me in a closet?

I shake my erratic thoughts away, and slowly move the covers back. I turn my back to Ray and slide smoothly out the bed making sure he wouldn't feel me moving.

A cold hand grabs my mouth.

"Where you goin?" Ray whispers.

My scream was muffled.

I push him away from me and crawl to the other side of the room in fear.

"Get away from me!" I warned. "Don't touch me."

Ray laughs. "Girl come on, get off the floor I was just playin."

I didn't know what to think. Who was he? Was he trying to hurt me? Am I overreacting?
I fight tears through clenched teeth.

"Get. Away." I warn again.

Ray walks toward me slow with his arm stretched out, just like he did at the soda machine. All of that fear came back. I couldn't help but think he was a killer. Who am I kidding, he was.

"Carlen." Ray says softly. The hurt showed in his eyes.

"Ray. Please. Don't." I beg. "Please."

My heart was beating a thousand miles a minute. Why did he look so crushed? What did he want?

"Carlen. Come to me." Ray whispers. "What did I do?"

"What didn't you do?" I snap. "Just don't come near me! What don't you get?"

"Carlen just talk to me!" Ray insists. "I'm not Gona hurt you."

"Yeah?" I retaliate. "How do I know that?"

Ray's face changed from compassion to anger.

"Wait wait wait." Ray stutters. "Do you honestly think that I'm Gona hurt you? Kill you? What is wrong with you?"

My blood suddenly Started to boil. What was wrong with me?! Bastard.

"Me?!" I ask coldly as I get up off the floor and walk closer to him. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Carlen." Ray says through clenched teeth.

"No don't Carlen me!" I interrupt. "I didn't ask for any of this shit! You and your friends have me up in here thinking everything is Gona be okay when it's not! You expect me to believe that you wouldn't hurt me? You're a damn fool. I don't trust you one bit."

I push Ray as hard as I could. He didn't budge, but I tried.

"Carlen." Ray growls. "I'm warning you."

"Oooh!" I mock. "You're warning me! What's that supposed to mean huh? You gon kill me too? Do it! I know you'd love that."

"Carlen!" Ray shouts. "I'm warning you now, if you don't know what you're talking about I suggest you don't say anything."

I shove Ray again.

"No! I know what this is!" I shout. "Don't try to play me like I'm dumb—"

"—shut the fuck up!" Ray intrudes.

I look at him in disbelief.

Ray grabs me by my shirt and looks me dead in my eyes. His face just inches from mine.

"I wouldn't lay a finger on you!" Ray admits. "You wana know why? Because I don't do that to people I care about! Carlen you got this whole game fucked up if you think I sit up all night thinking about how bad I wana kill you!"

I attempt to speak.

"Carlen I said shut the fuck up." Ray demands as he put his finger over my lip.

Ray continues. "Now I know this is hard for you and I haven't made a good impression on you so far but you got me fucked up if you think I wana kill anybody in this god damn house! I couldn't sleep last night Carlen! Not because I was thinking about hurting you, I was thinking about how bad I wanted you, and what I wanted to do to that perfect little body of yours. I sat up and watched you sleep, wanting to just grab you and sit you on top of me so I could give you the ride of a lifetime. So all of this questioning and interrogating will get you NOWHERE Carlen because I don't have any thoughts of killing you! And I never will."

Ray sneers at me for a couple seconds longer before he pushes me away and walks out the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.