innocent {luke hemmings a.u.}

-3-

I don't even make it to the bathroom before the anxiety comes over me and I start to breathe heavier and quicker, not being able to catch my breath.

I stumble in the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it before falling to the ground. Grabbing my bag, I search for my medicine to realize I forgot to grab it this morning off my dresser.

"Jaycee, you in there? It's Luke."

I quickly try and control my breathing and fail as I pull my legs to my chest and bury my dizzy head in my knees.

"Let me in," Luke says and I struggle to find the air to tell him that I'm okay.

"I know you're not okay, just let me in-"

I crawl to the door and unlock it, going back to the place I was at and curling up back into the ball I was in.

"Jaycee, oh my god come here," Luke says as he walks into the girls bathroom, shutting the door behind him and wrapping his long arms around me.

"Just breathe, okay? Just breathe, you're fine."

After I stop counting the minutes of me sobbing into Luke's shirt due to the fire erupting in my chest, I say, "Sorry.. Y-You didn't have to do that."

"Don't apologize. Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing," I say and we lock eyes.

"You just had a 20 minute anxiety attack. I really don't think it's nothing," I smile at him and he says, "Where is your sister?"

I pause and take a deep breath, "She's dead."

"What?" He asks and my eyes start to tear up.

"She's been dead for 3 years. So has my mum."

He pauses and looks down to his hand intertwined with mine, "I had no idea, I'm so sorry. I loved them so much."

"Me too," I smile and put my head on his arm since I'm not tall enough to reach his shoulder.

"How did that happen?"

"It's a long story," I say and he puts his head on mine.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"I'll tell you another time," I say, "I'm not in the mood to tell my family's sob story."

He doesn't reply, just scoots closer and I put my head on his shoulder. 

"Long story short, they died in a car accident."

"Were you in the car?"

"Yeah, but obviously I was fine. I was in the hospital for a while, but they died on impact." 

"I'm so fucking sorry," Luke says and he hugs me tighter than anyone has ever hugged me before.

"Stop saying you're sorry. You didn't do anything, it's not your fault."

"It was my fault for just leaving you. How the hell did I not know?"

"Nobody really knew, I didn't have any friends so I didn't have anyone to tell."

"I can't believe I left you like that. I'm such an asshole."

"Yeah, you were."

"You know I'm not going to leave you again, right? I promise I won't leave you again," Luke says and smiles before tears start falling from my eyes harder than before, me wiping them quickly.

"Please don't say that. You know it's not true so please don't say that-"

"But it is true. I promise."