Project Iphigenia (Bellarke)

Chapter 12

7 years after start of the program

Bellamy looked at himself in the dingy mirror by the door before he left that morning. He wasn't sure why, but in all it was about to be the start of a momentous moment in his life, and somehow he felt like he might not look the same after it all was said and done. Maybe, silly as it was, he wanted to look at himself-as a 'child'- one last time before he plunged into what it meant to be an adult here.

His mother seemed to notice his hesitation, and came up behind him, brushing his hair back and settling her chin on his shoulder. Now, at 17, he was far too tall for her to rest her own head on his like she did when he was little.

"You ready?" She questioned, "It's a big day."

"Of course I'm ready." He mumbled, shaking her off of him, a little embarrassed, "I mean, it's not that big of a deal."

"Of course it is!" His mother scolded, "It's a huge deal."

"Yeah, especially because I'll never know that feeling." Octavia huffed from his bed, falling dramatically back down onto it. Now that she was 12, and entering the dreaded teenage years, she was surly almost all the time and usually quite bitter. Often it was over something ridiculous, like Bellamy's fries being slightly more salted than hers were, or that she broke a nail while hiding during a 'random' room check. Her anger today was justified though, because it broke Bellamy's heart. He felt bad at once. She wouldn't ever get this chance.

Now that she was growing up, the reality of the situation was on his mind all the time. It was all fine and okay to hide her as a child, but a life living secretly wasn't a life at all. Was it right to really condemn his sister to a life in his room, to live and die here and never really see anything ever?

In his weakest moments, such as when he was talking excitedly about something and her eyes dimmed and he slowed down enough to realize that she had no idea what he was describing and she never could, he wondered if maybe the better option was to fess up? His mom would be floated, and Octavia would be sent to the Sky Box but at least now, under 18, she'd have a chance with a review board to be pardoned, which was the best option she had.

But to think he was weighing his mother's life, and possibly Octavia's on a random thought killed him. He would feel guilty about it for days after that.

"Technically, you're a seamstress with mom." Bellamy said, "You've taken over half her work load and one one's noticed a difference yet!" It was the truth. Aurora had taught her daughter well, and her skills were a match for her mother's. Bellamy knew this wasn't something Octavia was happy about for she was far to jittery to really be pleased doing such menial work.

"I don't even know what I'd be if I got the chance." She muttered, rolling into a ball on the bed. His sister was a strong person, and usually anger replaced her misery, but that sentence made her seem so broken, so vulnerable...

Aurora looked at her, her face resting into the frown she was wearing much more often, unable to help her daughter's pain. His friendship with Clarke did a lot, even if she didn't know it. It gave Octavia things she could only dream of. It gave his family a little extra money so that his mother didn't have to resort to her usual dalliances, and could spend more time with them. It was a protection that he hoped they'd never have to use. He tried to imagine how much worse it would be for the three of them if he had never become Clarke's friend, and it was unimaginable. Not only because of all the nice things that would vanish, but because she was his best friend, despite their age differences still. He didn't trust anyone, not even his own family, in the way he trusted her.

Aurora turned back to Bellamy, trying to erase any sign of her sadness away, for this was usually a day mothers and fathers celebrated with their children. Bellamy was used to his feelings being pushed to the wayside to keep Octavia happy. It might bother another kid, but he would give up anything for his sister. Feelings were a small price. Besides, she needed their mother far more than he did.