Unexpected

Chapter 46

Harry's POV:

I really don't want to tell her about my love life, because it's nothing what she would expect but by the look on her face I know she doesn't like the idea of not knowing what I'm talking about. She sighs before she comes closer and lays her head on my chest. I watch her head moving with my breathing. She sighs again.

“Sam,” I ask softly and she slowly looks up. “What are you thinking about?”

“I'm thinking about you.. us” she answers, her voice is soft but there is something in it that I can't attach to her weird tone.

“About us?” I ask her as I slightly stroke over her head.

She nods and I smile slightly.

“What do you think about us?”

“How this can work...I mean..” she stops and shakes her head.

I look down at her, her eyes are closed now but I can see the tear running down her cheek and it hurts me, I don't want to see her like this. I wipe the tear away before I sit up in the bed and lean against the back of the bed and pull her closer. She doesn't open her eyes and doesn't react as I pull her closer and place a soft kiss on her hair. I know she is upset but I don't think she will be better after I tell her every thing about me. I don't know if I can, I just I don't like her hearing this. I know media presented almost everything about me but it makes me feel safe that she doesn't know about this. I like the idea of her loving me because of me.. just because of my person and how I am. I take a deep breath before I stroke over her hair again.

“It wasn't Linda” I press out of my mouth.

She immediately looks up at me, her eyes are slightly red and she looks surprised.

“I mean I liked her but I never thought about something serious..or,” I don't know what to say or how to say it. “I never liked her in..” I start again “Fuck.. I only like her body, like she has an amazing body but I never liked her personality” I croak and Samantha tenses on my chest.

She doesn't say something and I look down on her again before I decide to continue.

“I like a girl in high school. I loved her I guess. I wanted to be with her but she always fancied another boy and then one day she pretended to like me and I told her I loved her and she went off and told everybody what a loser I was and that I fell in love with her.” I stop for a moment and take a deep breath “I promised myself since that day that I'll never fall in love with anyone. I started to get attracted to the girls or their body, and then I got famous and I liked the way girls always wanted me. I never got rejected and I could choose between them and it made me feel like I.. I don't know, it just made me feel like I was actually someone.” I try to let my voice sound strong but it sounds probably really weak.

“I never told anyone before and I'd appreciate it if you'd keep it to yourself” I add and Samantha slowly turns around.

Her eyes are filled with tears again and I wonder what I did wrong this time. I actually feel really uncomfortable so I look down on the bed and try to avoid eye contact with her. She climbs onto me and places one leg on each side of my legs before she runs both of her small hands through my hair.

“I'm sorry” she whispers and I finally look up.

I smile slightly and she climbs closer before she sits down on me.

“I didn't know it was something like this, I'm sorry that I asked you to tell me this.” Her eyes plead for forgiveness and I place my hands on her hips.